Telling ex to stop calling to house - help!

[ikeepforgetting]

I need to send an email to my ex to stop him from turning up to see DC (18 and 16) on my doorstep. The house is jointly owned until sale in 2028 and the consent order gives me sole occupation to his exclusion. Yet still he comes - no notice, puts me on edge, stands out there talking to the next door neighbours, shouts into the house to get DD out of her room. I feel like I have no privacy.

The DC are more than old enough to meet him elsewhere.

My solicitor wants me to play hardball and advised a fairly heavy letter. I don't want to escalate it though, so I am going to email an unemotional 'this is how it will be now' message.

I am terrified of how he will react. I need to stop being worried about that, we are divorced, I am just communicating my right to privacy and enjoyment of my home. But still his reactions have a hold on me.

Handhold/words of support much needed!

Why dont you move out before, why wait till 2028

Get The Police involved.

Its free and the prospect of a night in the cells might deter him

@Beachlover1993 That's irrelevant to this, it is court ordered that I am here until then and that's that.

@JohnofWessex Only if there is an actual Occupation Order and I am not at that stage yet. This is a boundary setting thing, hopefully will never come to that.

I am in a similar situation. Exh comes into the house to say goodbye when dropping dc off . I have let it go but now i have bought him out i dont want him setting foot inside or even on the drive. Like you, i am too worried about his reaction.

I’ve had this issue, I had to put a stop to it. Put cameras up at the front of the house, made it crystal clear he wasn’t allowed into our home and contact / drop off is now at the car park at David Lloyd where me and the teens have a family membership. That way they go out to the car park to him and I don’t even have to see him. It was never about the kids-just making his presence felt and checking up on me. He once noticed two cups drying on the side and made a comment.. he was always actively looking for signs of someone else. Drove me mental.!! You’re going to have to be really firm in how you approach this - speaking from experience! Be warned every time it appears you may have softened he’ll be straight back on it. I’m actually considering a legal order at this point in time and we are 4 year on from separation.

Is he actually coming into the house? Sounds like doing no more than a delivery guy might do -- talking to neighbours isn't something you can stop.