Ex withholding our child before court hearing, should I wait?

[PeppyOpalShark]

Hi,

I just need some insight (gentle, please, I beat myself up enough) on a situation I'm going through.

My ex partner has taken our child (no custody agreement because they refused a mediation. I am going to court soon though) and is refusing to return them to my care, citing unfounded risks. I know I am within my right to take them back but I am aware doing so will cause more retaliation and conflict in front of our child. I want to minimise that as much as possible but I know they are missing me terribly and I am missing them terribly too. It's been several months now and a couple months until the court case. Would it be silly to take them for a week or two? Should I just leave it as it is until then. I am trying to see them and speak with them as much as possible but the ex is making it difficult. I also have a lawyer.

I guess I just need some warm words or perhaps similar stories with a happy ending?

Are you and your ex both not wanting the other to see dc at all?

Prior to this were you the primary parent and are you applying to court to be the primary parent.

It really depends where you're hoping to get with court and what the risks are.

Do you concerns about your childs safety with them.

As above, prior to this were you primary parent? What were the contact arrangements?

Oh dear

Are you the mother or the father?

How old is the child?

What were the arrangements before this happened?

I would suggest an Emergency Application to Court although it doesnt help that the situation has been going on for a while.

You can ask The Police to do a welfare check and raise concerns with Social Services as well/

Not at all. I want us to have the original agreement we had and for our child to have a relationship with them.
It seems as though they want the opposite though.

I was primary parent in the sense that I am receiving child benefit for them, but we otherwise shared custody. Unfortunately because I have no formal proof that CMS will accept, they believe that they are the primary parent and are now making me pay for the last two weeks.

I do need to keep it vague about some info in case they come across this post. As I said before, I really don't want them to retaliate and make it worse.

I think my lawyer will do an emergency application to try and speed the process but I am worried they'll win and keep our child away from me. They're very good at playing the part. That being said, I am collecting evidence of their willingness to alienate our child from me, and I hope that the court will see my child and I have a strong bond that shouldn't be broken.

Will you receiving cb not be proof?

You would think it would be enough but apparently not according to CMS. Just because they got in first and said I have no care of our child, they believed them first. Without a court order or formal agreement, they don't believe me.

I just want to pick up my child and keep them but I'm worried the court will see it as trying to cause conflict, even though they are the ones that started all of this.