Ex moving in with new partner

[Heĺloworld99]

Hi everyone, so my ex has told me he's going to be moving in with his new partner. Weve been separated 18 months and he's been with her for just under a year (they are colleagues so have known each other longer, no there was no cheating so please don't go down that road). I'm gutted because he's renting somewhere 45 mins away and I'm concerned about how this will affect my childrens lives especially when they go to secondary school which will be near me. He's going (for now) to take his children to his mum's on his weekend but at some point that will change. So some questions.

1. Did you meet your ex,s new partner? What does it achieve and what do you actually talk about - because frankly it's not nice to meet her!
2. Did you make any requests e.g. you don't want your child sleeping in a bed with them.
3. How did you react when this happened to you?

You presumably may have very very little faith in your ex’s parenting skills if you’re considering asking these questions?

How do you generally get on with him?
what is the split in parenting?

45 mins doesn’t seem that bad?

What a bizarre response. I have no issue with his parenting skills, but I have no idea who his new partner is..I'm simply asking what others did this in this situation

You can’t really make any requests as you have to trust his judgment on parenting and his partner when the children are with him.

how old are your dc?

I would just be polite and keep it civil as although it must be really difficult, it’s about the children and a healthy co-parenting relationship is best for everyone involved. You could always agree some ground rules together if you feel it necessary but I wouldn’t try and dictate anything

If you have to ask whether he will be sharing a bed with his child and girlfriend then you have doubts

I trust my ex
I can’t even imagine the look on his face if I ever said I would prefer if he didnt share a bed with our child and his new girlfriend!!!!

You just have to trust him and let him get on with it. Him moving 45 minutes away is also a non-issue.

Agree how old are your dc? If you’re thinking about secondary school soon surely they’re not still bed sharing?

You don’t need to meet officially. It achieves nothing. Your paths will cross naturally at handovers or similar.

you can make as many requests as you wish - and he can choose to ignore all of them. So no point

just try to keep communication about kids open and your paths civil

Its his life op.
As long as the kids are looked after what more can you do, apart from move on with your life.

I think the problem here is no 3. Nothing has happened to you.

The fact you seem to feel the need to ask that he doesn’t share a bed with his child and partner would indicate you very much do have an “issue with his parenting skills”

I’m not sure what the problem here is tbh. Can you explain more?

No, I’ve never met any of his partners, apart from one that he brought to our dc’s birthday party (never saw her again). His current partner has kids so hopefully it has some longevity as the kids seem to like each other.

If you think the dc will share his bed I highly doubt a gf will hang around very long.

For me it was a case of what he dose in his own time was no concern of mine. It wasnt my business. We do we off week on. But he only lives 15 minutes away. So their now step mum drives them to school on their week