Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

What happens in court when parents dispute 50 50 child arrangements?

27 replies

PeonyLoves · 25/07/2026 09:56

Name changed because I don’t want this to be linked to my other posts.

I am really worried about my brother. He’s about to get divorced and is in the process of seeking 50/50 custody of 3 dd ages between 7 and 12.

STBEW is trying to block this. She claims that he has been a negligent father and only wants joint custody to spite her.

It is true that he put his social life first on occasion. For example, when one of the DCs was quite poorly as an infant, he still chose to go on a stag weekend and left their mother to cope with everything alone.

However, until recently, he had a good relationship with all 3 dc. But since the separation, the relationship has deteriorated to the extent that none of the dc want to spend time with him anymore. He claims that they have been poisoned against him by their mother.

STBEW has a new partner and she wants sole custody with fortnightly supervised access.

Does anyone have experience in what happens in court and how decisions are made? DB is beside himself that he may never be allowed to have a proper relationship with his children if the courts go in their mother’s favour.

OP posts:
Sheldonsheher · 27/07/2026 22:26

NeverLookInTheMirror · 27/07/2026 21:23

OP firstly he’s a man so you are never going to get a non biased opinion here.

On MN all men are bastards, and all women are victims. The reality is that there are a lot of bastard men, but there are equally a lot of women who are only too happy to weaponise their children against their ex’s, and there are plenty of examples on MN to show for it, women who will swear blind that the children don’t want to spend time with dad but adore the new shag who has been living there for five minutes, having moved in after five minutes.

And let’s not pretend that there aren’t a lot of controlling MILs on the women’s side, but hey he went out once when one of the kids was little, and MN are seeing this as a reason to accuse him of being in the wrong.

He needs a solicitor because you are being given a lot of inaccurate advice here. It’s simply not true to say that if the 12 yo doesn’t want to see him then he won’t be given any contact, or that the made up schedule another PP has posted here will apply to a 7 year old.

The starting point is 50/50. The older DC will be interviewed by Cafcas, without any parent present, their wishes will be considered, but it’s not true that a 12 year old won’t be made to spend time with their father, in fact in cases of parental alienation it’s possible for a mother to lose residency if it’s proven that she has alienated or attempted to alienate the children.

also there are quite a few fathers first types on Mumsnet who like to make out women are after them when they are the problem. This post for example is very misogynistic to my mind.

its very hard to prove things in court with fathers that weaponise these arguments of ‘alienation’ a largely made up term and minimise their abusive behaviours.

daffodilandtulip · 27/07/2026 22:31

The patriarchy is alive and well in family courts. The more she fights, the more she will lose, often regardless of facts.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page