6 week old baby found out husband cheating

[Mumbroken]

I'm heartbroken.
My baby is 6 weeks old and I found out my husband has cheated on my several times. I'm worried about my baby and I. I want him out of the house but how am.I going to cope alone? Ive got no family close by to help. I'm breastfeeding, will this affect my supply ?
Does anyone have any legal advice?
Ive got proof. I used to volunteer for the samaritans and one of the dates he cheated i was on a night shift- volunteering ! Im so heartbroken. Never suspected it. He's been so nice and innocent always.
Also caught him watching porn and masturbating whilist seating next to our baby. Im shocked.
I havent confronted him because i want legal advice before i do. Not sure if im going to last the weekend without confronting him. Help

Oh my goodness you poor darling. Take some deep breathes and just concentrate on the next hour, and then the next hour and so on. You will absolutely be able to cope on your own. You didn't want or plan to do it this way, but have faith in yourself and you will be able to do it, I promise.
Are you on mat leave? As in, do you have your own money, or do you rely on him for money?
The masturbating would be enough for me ro leave, irrespective of him cheating. That is utterly fowl!
You can do this, but your priority is yourself and your daughter, he has no right to yiur empathy or love now.

Sorry you didn't say daughter....baby. Either way he's an utter pig and you both deserve better.

@Mumbroken I'm so sorry. But also - you can absolutely do this on your own. You deserve to be happy and you will find that again one day, even if it doesn't feel like it right now 💐

So sorry to hear this OP, what horrible things to find out. What a wnker he is. Literally!
Think hard about chucking him out yet, you may consider gritting your teeth for s couple months IF he is actually helping you with the baby; providing there's no more wnking!
You can chuck him out later when you are healed from the birth and have your ducks in a row. Prioritise your baby and build your routine, until you're ready. Good luck OP your baby loves you and you will regain your self worth, honestly xx

I am very sorry. That is dreadful he was doing that next to the baby. Could you confide in your GP about what he has done and Women’s Aid. Talk to both and get help and advice.

Thank you.
Im okay financially. Im on mat leave and got a promotion in work recentely.
I just made him do a passport urgent for the baby. My parent live abroad and i want to go see them Asap.
This is going to change our life's so much.
How selfish of him. I cant belive it.

Great advice thank you

Didn’t want to read and run.
if you can do as a PP said and get your ducks in a row amd use him u til you get a routine established/stop bleeding etc.then you will have more t8me to organise.
You can put your moods, tears, snapping at the cheating bastard etc down to just having given birth, hormone overload.
Make sure you move your half of any money.
Get legal advice then give him his divorce papers.
You can do this.
He’s a disgrace as a husband and a father.
I’m gettimg to the stage where I think there’s very few men out there who are decent.

Edited as I missed the end off a sentence.

That's playing on my mind. If im doing my baby wrong by taking her away from her dad. But i dont think she will notice. Shes so small and way more attached to me obviasly.
I havent spoken to my mum, i know she will advise me to stay and work things out because of the baby. But how can i ever forgive him ? Or trust again...

The proof only matters from a personal psychological perspective but legally it gives you no right to kick him out.

If you’re able to, I would keep quiet for a while and put certain things in order. Work out his exact financial position if you don’t already know etc

Once he knows you know, the shutters will come down and you might be faced with a very very difficult rather than contrite man

So so sorry love. You will survive this. Lone parenting is not as bad as you might think, there is much to be said for just making decisions without having to always check with the other parent and the very close bond you’ll have with your child, and the friendship support networks it forces you to develop which can bring so much into your life.
You must be in horrible shock. Personally there’s no way I would be able to keep that to myself. I’m wondering if you’ve got somewhere to go other than your parents if your mum is going to lean on you to stay with him, or can you at least tell her not to do this?
and no, you are not doing anything wrong splitting up with him in terms of your daughter. He has done this, it’s on him and children survive and thrive when parents split up, it is not the end of the world and there is plenty of time for him to be an involved dad.
in answer to your question- you’d never be able to trust him. and the wanking next to his baby is repulsive and really concerning. You are out of his league and will fly above all this crap. You need to be selfish right now, do whatever you can to support yourself and surround yourself with people who will help in this. This will be the best thing for you and your baby.
so sorry again, it won’t always hurt like this or be so scary. You can and will do it.

Legally no one cares about the cheating sadly. You can’t kick him out of the house he lives in. Your baby has a right to know their father even if he an adulterer. It’s hard now no one cares about you very much just your child’s rights (legally.) be warned your husband may object to trips abroad if he thinks you won’t return.

im so sorry you don’t deserve any of this.

Get out OP.
Time to be utterly selfish and ruthless (actually selfless..)
you and baby against everything.
baby won’t remember a thing.
YOU WILL BE FINE.
you will always be fine.
remember you are still post partum and flooded with hormones too.
seems impossible but you will do it and you will be happier eventually for it xx

Don’t forgive him and stay because it will allow him most likely to do it again and in the meantime your self worth will be too low for you to do anything about it.

Leave him when you are able to. Much easier with a young baby than a toddler or preschooler or primary school kid.

You could move away, this is your chance now to do something for just you and your baby!

You are a strong woman, remember that.

Your baby has a right to know their father even if he an adulterer

But not if he has such low boundaries he watches porn and wanks in front of her. That’s a ‘right’ any child can do without.

My kids are older now, but from my experience the trust thing - will never be repaired. Do right by yourself and your baby by getting out of this relationship as soon as you have everything in order. Get some free legal advice, can you get counselling through work and reach out to your GP. It gives you support and covers you if he tries anything on. In retrospect I wish I had left when my oldest was a baby. There is support out there, you will build a new support network as your baby grows with baby groups and school etc. I agree with one one of the other posters regarding there being few trustworthy men out there…you will be thankful in the future you didn’t waste any more precious moments with someone like this.

Masturbating in the presence of a child is sexual abuse. Protect your child

What a pig of a man.
No, your baby won't be damaged if you take them away from their father, on the contrary, in a long run you both will be much better off!
❤️

That’s what I think. OP I think you should be in touch with women’s aid and tell them and get their help.

@ScrollingLeaves It is not think it’s sexual abuse. It is. It truly is.
OP If his boundaries are that off your infant daughter and you are not safe. She has no agency. You do. Please seek help

I don’t agree it’s sexual abuse. I mean I’ve masturbated and had sex in the same room as our baby as they slept in with us….. at 6 weeks old this is completely different to him
doing once the baby is older.

irrespective, op can’t just up and leave with baby without her ex permission if she’s planning on staying permanently. He can stop that. And op needs to come up with a regular contact pattern with her husband.

his affair is not relevant legally

if he hasn’t submitted you should apply for passport as he will always have to apply in future and can cancel it without your knowledge if he applies, as has to be same parent. Minor point but just wanted to flag. What an absolute arse.

You poor thing and poor baby. Any sexual
activity in the presence of a child is sexual
abuse. Confide in GP, HV or whoever you feel you can. You could speak to the police or phone Social Services. If you don’t feel able to do this please at least phone Woemens Aid. Your priority is getting out. It’s understandable that you want to see your parents but you must not let your mum persuade you to stay. This is a man who has no boundaries for sexual activity in front of a child.

You must flag this up to someone official OP.

Don’t do that.