He’s filed for divorce

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We fell for each other two years ago.

He’s avoided leaving or upsetting the children while they go through the tricky high school exams.

He’s now filed.

Is it ok to be in touch with him while he goes though these next tricky months before he moves out or should I give him space?

The marriage has been over for a long time, before we’d met.

He's filed for divorce right before Christmas? What a catch he is, a man prepared to walk out on his children at a time of year synonymous with family.

I'd put money on his wife finding out about the affair and dumping him. At least that's what I hope has happened.

And you know what they say – when a man settles down with his mistress, it creates a vacancy...

In that case I think you should move in with them to help everyone through the process. 🙄

Wait until he fills the new mistress vacancy 😬

Thanks all. I’ll give him a wide birth until it’s over.

Or forever?

You do realise, he has children, so it will never be ‘over’, they will be in his life for his lifetime. You on the other hand….

I think he'll be giving you a wide berth before long tbh. He's following The Script perfectly. You are a plaything, pick up your dignity while you still can and leave.

Don't be surprised if he doesn't come back for you.

Some men use the OW as an emotional support animal to get through 'tricky' times. Often until they no longer have to pay child support or solo parent and spoil their new single man weekends.

Yes, give him space. Let him come to you - then you'll know one way or another. If you want this man, remember that how you met him could well be how lose him down the line.

Enjoy being constantly concerned who the next affair partner will be.

"Rage bait" 😀
Surely, what anyone does is their business.
How old are you, OP?
At 46, I cannot imagine putting myself down like this (the whole situation aside, what a hero not to want to upset his high school children),
should I contact him or not.
Honestly, I wouldn't bother for a day "falling for someone".
Speaking for myself.

My dad cheated when I was about 2 and it destroyed our relationship, our whole family dynamic and the reverberations are still being felt 30 years later. Well done, OP, you must be so proud of yourself!! Good luck with the simmering resentment from the teenagers, the white hot rage from the wife and the guilt I hope kicks in soon on your part. Merry Christmas.

Typo. Cheated when I was 20. Young adults feel it badly too you know.

Christ breaking up a family. Honestly don’t know how you sleep at night.

I do think it’s AWFULLY nice of you to consider his children!

Are you backing off now so you can eventually feed them the line that you weren’t fucking their Dad while he was still married to their Mum?
Let’s hope they fall for it so you can all play happy families one day, eh?

I wouldn’t normally be a pedant bitch but you kind of deserve it. It’s wide berth not wide birth 🙄. Under educated as well as without morals.

You fell for him. He wanted an extra bit on the side and lied to you to get it. Poor wife and kids.

I was so confused by the OP, i had to read the 1st few replies to figure out what was going on.

Fell for each other 2 years ago and now getting divorced? That's a quick turn around! Are they step children? I was really confused.

Surely you’ve heard the “creates a vacancy” phrase.

Walk away, this will only end in tears mostly yours But potentially his innocent children’s

When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.

so there is that.

Thanks all, it’s the reality check I needed.