Co parenting apps as per UK law

[TruthSeeker4ever]

Hello,

I am going through a difficult divorce where ex is still controlling through kids and sending gaslighting messages blaming me even when he left both kids with me and not taking any responsibility.
I am going through a court hearing and would like some advice around co parenting arrangement. Since I have no family in U.K., I am thinking of requesting court to enforce all communication through co parenting app that is monitored. Is there any co parenting app that someone can advise? Also will the court take such a request?
Please advice me.
Thanks.

Our family wizard

Friend of mine use this during a very tricky time with her ex-husband. It wasn’t initially suggested by the court, but by her solicitor

There is an annual fee that you both have to pay for it to work.

It includes a tone monitor. Where it will highlight words and phrases in your message that are rude. It doesn’t stop you sending them but may help him stop and think.

Thanks @alwaysthesamechild I checked the app and it seems to be supported by the courts. Thanks for your advice.

App Close is often recommended during court proceedings and it's free. Messages can't be deleted. You can add a third party to have access to the messages.

Good luck with this - men can be such shits! I don’t know how old your Dc are, but if they have their own phones and he is sending them inappropriate messages too, get screenshots of them and ask the courts if they can limit the contact he has with them via their phones.

Thanks @Soontobe60 @Woompund my kids are 15 and 6. He uses the elder one to pass instructions to me ( he byspasses me ) and that’s also causing issues. For example, he wouldn’t discuss directly abt a shared expense but just tell son to tell me to pay it. And then if I ask, he wouldn’t respond. Kids don’t understand his tactics.

The courts can add it to the Child Arrangements Order. It was included in my CAO on the advice of my Barrister. I used talkingparents but ourfamilywizard etc are also good. It has not made any difference to the rants I get from my ex but at least I know it can all be produced in court. I do not engage on any other fora. He still calls on my phone to talk to DS but we've agreed a time for that and I just pass the phone to DS, do not pick up/engage etc.

The apps also record expenses, keep bills, etc. It might help get around the games he plays with your son in the middle.

Our family wizard- does calls, video calls, messages. Calendar, upload documents, tone checker, can't delete anything, shows the time and date of when it was sent/added and when the other parent reads them
Can turn the notifications off so you get some peace too.
If you are claiming any benefits you can go through their hardship fund and get it free.

Our Family Wizard, definitely!

My DP uses it and has just today granted access to the court as his ex has sent vile messages to him through it. It has been a Godsend for us to showcase her abuse and alienation tactics.

It was a much more peaceful life when used correctly. However, due to the continued abuse from her, contact is now only allowed through me.

Thanks @BookArt55 @Mileymoocow Court asked him to use AppClose or Ourfamilywizard during hearing. I wrote to him telling him that as court advised, we can communicate through App. He stopped communication altogether and also not responding to kids or replying to the email that I sent. What should I do?

Wait it out, and if it goes on too long, and you need answers, your lawyer will have to contact his. If he is reneging on time/visits with the kids, that will reflect poorly on him in court, so don't worry, he will emerge in due course when he's stopped sulking that boundaries are being put in place. The boundaries limit his leverage and control over you, so he will obviously react badly initially. Power through.

Agree with above. Stand strong. Document missed contact and contact made that is child focused and being ignored. If you haven't already, join and send him the link explaining all contact goes through here and rhen block him on everything else.
He'll be back, silence is often used by my ex when I'm not doing as I am told. In my situation if comes out swinging wjth some new argument, so just enjoy the peace!

Thanks @timeandagainagain @BookArt55 Yes, I’ll wait and see what’s excuses he brings up this time, and based on past experience with him, he’ll blame me for everything again.

My narcissist (diagnosed) ex,blames me for everything too. It is all part of the disorder that cannot accept any responsibility or take accountability for anything. I joke with my friends that if he could find a way to pin the the middle east crisis on me, he would! You'll just have to develop a very thick hide on this stuff. Good luck!

Must all have the same ex 😄 🤣 mine blames everything on me too. Apparently the kids getting ill is my fault, but then when they are fit and well it's my fault for giving them the prescribed meds and I'm poisoning them. No winning, so just do what you think is best!

@BookArt55 doesn't it make you feel all-powerful, what a lot of things we can control, if we can be blamed for everything 😂

@timeandagainagain @BookArt55 you really lightened my heart. It’s good to know that there are powerful women like you who can guide me 💗