Need to do this in the new year

[Elena7]

I am at the end of another year in an unhappy marriage. Crying 2 days before Christmas because he’s having a go at me about spending money. I just wish I’d had the strength that others who have gone through separation have had to leave him. We have 2 older teens at home and I’ve been trying to hang on until both leave home. He does what he always does and tells me I can’t manage on my own

I believe you do have the strength to leave. Honestly, get your ducks in a row and show that fucker that you can manage on your own. Make a plan and just do it. Be mindful he knows nothing before you leave.

Your older teens...are they showing signs of leaving home. They may not leave home until well into your 20's.

I'm not being critical because I am in a similar holding out position. Except I am slowly working out that it is not doable because living together has become intolerable (my dc are younger than yours) and because of the increasing toxicity.

I have had this said to me - I wouldn't cope on my own which is cruel really because I would (this was said to me many years ago when dc's were young) and yes, life was difficult. It's manipulative op. I've been working hard to build my confidence up, my support system and sort my finances. The end of this marriage is going to be sooner than I anticipated...not immediate but I now see a way out.