I'm sorry if this has been asked before, I'm sure it has, but do court orders for living arrangements for the kids only apply when they're very young? I'm hoping to move my situation on in the next few months (am determined to end my marriage but the usual guilt and overwhelm are slowing me down) and I want to know what to tell the kids when the time for the conversation comes around. By the time the divorce goes through, if I start it in the next few weeks/months, they will be 17 and 13. Can they decide what they want to do as to where they live and when they visit either me or their dad? Or will we be given a fixed EOW or 50/50 arrangement by the courts if DH and I disagree? I think I know the answer but just want to check as my mind is in bits.