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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Deciding on access - I think he's unreasonable

2 replies

Fudgefudgefudge · 04/01/2023 14:36

Been separated from H for 1.5 years now (my choice, no adultery either party) and hoping to get divorced this year.

He works awkward shifts, always has done and will only see the DC (10 and 13) when it suits him which is usually on a school night.

I would like to get into a routine where he has them overnight on Friday and Saturdays every other weekend because at the moment. He doesn't work Fridays or Saturdays but does a Sunday morning and when we were together his work were always flexible with his hours for childcare needs. He's now saying he'll have DC Thursday and Friday nights every other weekend as that's HIS weekend. But the DC will be at school for most of it so it's still down to me to do their weekend activities and taking them places.

He also "forgets" to pay me the pitiful maintenance that we agreed on - I've not had a penny from him since November.

Any advice? Neither are flush with cash so we were hoping to sort this between ourselves but it only seems to suit him at the moment. But I'm so stressed with this and my full time demanding job that I don't know if I'm not being reasonable.

OP posts:
FairyBatman · 04/01/2023 15:00

If he can't organise himself to pay maintenance on time then go through CMS. If you are feeling generous you can give him a final warning that if he's late again you will. There's no excuse really as he can set up a
standing order.

millymollymoomoo · 04/01/2023 15:16

Can he have them Thursday / Friday overnight but you both take to activities on Saturday? Eg just because they are not staying with him Saturday doesn’t mean he czz as t lock them up and take to swimming / ballet or whatever and drop them off ??

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