How to deal with controlling ex (possible narc)

[Itsonlyagame]

Ex and I split a couple of months ago. They corecively controlled me all through our 7 years together. I am much happier without him but he is still trying to control me through dc. Trying to change contact arrangements constantly and acting like I am the problem if I suggest an alternative they don't like. They basically think they should be able to do what they wants, when he wants and fuck everyone else. How do I deal with them? I have tried being calm and assertive, God knows it is difficult but I am losing patience fast. Any tips welcomed!

I have similar problem with my STBXH but it’s over finance. I have great problem in knowing how to stand up to him after years of letting have his own way.

I am doing grey rock and refusing to engage. “Let me think about that”, “and I’ll get back to you later”, but realise that it’s different when you are dealing with childcare.

I get glimpses that he’s beginning to realise I can’t be pushed around as much previously. Can you practice any phrases that you just keep repeating ad infinitem ie “that doesn’t work for me”.

I go to see a therapist, and she is always advising me to stop thinking about what he wants, and interrupts me when I’m going on about him, and says What do you want? She’s right of course, but it’s a hard habit to break.

Go to mediation and get a proper schedule sorted. Don't deviate from that ime. He isn't your friend.. Don't do him any favours. Even if he paints it as being best for the dc to swap.. Because when you need a swap it won't be swapped..
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I may have to do this later on. We have resolved the current issue amicably after I made it clear that one overnight in 6 weeks was not acceptable.