Years of unhappiness and now I finally feel strong enough

[Solitaire7]

Like the title says, there has been many unhappy years but I really need to take steps forward now. I am confused about options. I earn more (3 x more) and we owe a home with equity but also a help to buy loan. We are in the middle of a re mortgage. Help! Can I leave and rent?Should I? Can I get him to buy me out? He won't afford the mortgage alone. He won't leave the family home as he knows he can't afford to. I can't live together like this anymore.

I’m going through a similar situation at the moment and have been since January.

I’d first of all see if you can afford to buy him out so you know where you stand financially. This was a big thing for me as if I couldn’t afford to keep the house I would have moved out months ago. In reality I’m the only one who can afford to keep the house so now I have the challenging job of getting him out as he doesn’t want to leave or want the separation. Like you I don’t feel like I can live like this anymore.

Once you know about the finances then I’d start going through the legal process asap. Im not in the UK but found that once he had initial legal paperwork he believed this was real and has started talking in a way where he realises he needs to increase his income so he can get a mortgage etc.

Good luck, it’s a tough process.