Child Support

[faf88]

My daughter (15) recently decided she want to do week on wee off with her dad and I. It is not court ordered and we did not have changes made to the court order. We just decided to let her try it and see if she likes it. I do not! But my question is, her dad is court ordered to pay child support (a very small fee). Since we started this new parenting arrangement, he has taken it upon himself to decide he no longer needs to say. I still pay for all extra curricular activities, school supplies, and clothing. Should he still be paying his court ordered child support?

Yes one should pay a court order unless it is changed.

But with true 50/50, he could go to the CMS and get the court order disregarded if it is more than one year ago. Maybe say that the new 50/50 means paying half of the kind of costs you mention?

Technically yes but it will be very easy fkr him to get that chsnged if he’s genuinely doing 1 wk on / off as you mentiom
y

Perhaps it would work more in your favour if he starts to pay 50% of all those extras as well. Half of clubs, uniforms, clothes, shoes etc. Send him a list of all of those global costs and ask for his half.

He is aware of the cost of her activities and such. He does not want to help pay for anything.

Presumably you are getting the child support payment as this only gets paid to one parent. So if it's 50/50 he technically doesn't have to pay anything. Whether or not morally he should is a different matter

If you cannot afford the extra-curricular activities then stop paying for them. It's drastic but you have to pay for clothes and stationary as they are needs rather than wants.

I have friends, who either with or without their siblings, from aged around 14 asked their other parent why they weren't paying for them. Basically they shamed their other parent. They were pissed that either their single parent or their step-parent was paying for them instead.

(I say "other parent" as not all non-paying parents were men. )

In regards to the CMS if both parents don't agree on how often their child stays with the other parent then they default to the Court Order for child arrangements. (Interpret that how you like.)

So far you are the only one that says he can go against a court. Do you know how it is okay to do so?

Legally yes he has to carry on paying in accordance with the court order until he opens a CMS case. After that, it's 50/50 so the CMS will say nothing to be paid. So certainly claim the backpay.

What I would suggest tactically is that you halve the number of things you pay for and tell your daughter dad needs to pay the other half now if she wants to carry on doing them.

Either he coughs up or the 50/50 won't last very long I suspect...

You acknowledge that the provisions of the court order changed because your daughter requested and you decided not to go back to court. You don’t need to as can apply for support via the CMS which will determine a zero payment.

Without knowing the background it’s impossible for us to know whether he resents paying for his daughter or he resents paying money to you. It’s likely to be the later. He might also resent the control it gives you over her lifestyle.

A solution may be that you both agree to give her an allowance for the non basic stuff (shelter and food). She can the spend it on clothes, hair, makeup and her choice of hobbies. You can supervise this in your respective time. Big ticket items can be funded as personal gifts or joint gifts. You are both then on Equal footing and she isn’t stuck in the middle of a financial dispute that she might be guilty about.

That's not what I said.

Equal time on and off with both parents fits the 50:50 definition exactly. So, CMS will advise there is nothing to pay by either parent.

I would says it's morally wrong it one parent earns significantly more than the other, but legally correct on the basis that both parents incur the same costs when they have the child.

If extra curricular activities are weekly then he should be paying for his weeks with her. Is he buying clothes / uniform and everything else she needs during her time with him?

Tell him if he isn’t going to pay for uniforms etc then in x amount of weeks she will go to his with no uniform so he will need to buy his own by then.

Good www.prestigeautumnleave.info/