Change of surname

[123dm]

I split from my ex husband 4 1/2 years ago and we have 2 children together. It’s not been an easy divorce to say the least and he lied and gained custody of our children. I still have my married surname as I’ve had it for half of my life and my children have the same name.

hes getting remarried and I’m considering changing my name back but don’t know what to do! Any advice?

You just start using your maiden name. You’ve got paperwork to prove your divorce, and you birth certificate, so just start using it.

I’ve been in a half way house for last year since my divorce . I am still using married name but I also use maiden name. My married name is the name of my children so I’m reluctant to ditch it altogether….I’m using it for legal, financial and official stuff.

my maiden name I’m using for my new social circle and online stuff (useful for security to use a name not the same as your financial accounts!)

bottom line is that you don’t have to choose an either/or ….just use both and I’m sure you’ll eventually get into a habit of either defaulting to one or other or continuing to use both.

Ive got increasingly militant about married names as I got older. I’m in my late 50s now. I would gladly ditch my married name as a symbol of my independence, but then I’ll be reverting back to my fathers name (who I have a difficult relationship with ) and that’s just a whiff of patriarchy as well

alternatively do what MNetters suggest to me…take a whole new name that is yours and change by deedpoll. Haven’t done that but it is extremely tempting to stick 2 fingers up at the men who’ve dictated my names previously by switching to a name from the matriarchal side of my family 🤣