When do I have to tell him I've started proceedings?

[TheLasrStraw]

I'm worried that as soon as i tell H that I've instructed divorce proceedings, he will start drinking heavily again and behave recklessly, putting myself and DD at risk again.

So, how late can I leave it to tell him?

Are you away and in a safe place - if so start straight away and call the police if any problems . If you have had retrospective incidents then call them and make a log to make them aware of the potential situation - then if you end up having a problem with him they will look it up and have all the info already

Wait - risk again?? Call the police and get somewhere safe x

Thank you, but how long after I instruct my solicitor does he get a letter

Is it just a few days?

Yes if they're efficient then it would be within a week I'd imagine

You don't actually have a duty to tell him btw

I reported my exh for drink driving.. I didn't tell him
I filed for divorce and didn't admit that either..
He was sleeping on dc's floor thinking I was forgiving him

.
I applied for benefits which came through within a fortnight - when he found out and moved out.