If you have 50/50 custody - how do you split time with your dc?

[AlfieIsReallySensitive]

DC are 3yrs and 5yrs, just trying to work out what will be best for them.

Thanks.

My DCs are older (12 and 14) and we do week on week off, swapping over every Friday evening at 6. it works for us as the boys are older but for young ones I'd try for a more regular hand over every couple of days. There are loads of different options such as 3,4,4,3

Thanks Lorry. I agree that’s too long away from us (week on, week off) at this age. Yes there are loads of options (too many!)- I just wondered what people found worked.

Mine are 3 and 8.
Newly separated and we’ve not started the 50/50 arrangement yet but We’re doing 2,2,3. I’m worried this might be too much moving about for them but feel anything else is too long for the little one 🤷🏻‍♀️

We do 2-2-5-5 and DSD6 openly stated she like it over the previous arrangement.

That looks a good arrangement (2255) but I doubt dh will agree. His plan at the moment is to have them every other day which I think is ridiculously unsettling for dc. They won't know whether they are coming or going and trying to keep track or all their stuff will be impossible!

Every other day is ludicrous. How would he like to swap homes every day?

My two DD's are slightly older. One in YR6 and one in YR8. We do me Monday and Tuesday. He does Wednesday and Thursday. Then weekends are alternated.

@OhamIreally exactly. He says he doesn't want to be apart from them for too long but it's utterly selfish . I am hoping the mediator we are seeing will point out how difficult that will be for dc. I don't know if that's the sort of thing they will do.

How @nomorelimbo has put is our 2-2-5-5 to a T. DSD with mum mon & tues, wed & thurs with us and every weekend alternated leading to the 5 night stretches and meaning everyone gets to do school week and weekends

@Bubbleandboil I also did 2, 2, 3 from when my children were 5&2 it was a brilliant arrangement the kids knew exactly where they were going to be and knew they would never go too long before seeing the other parent. My children are now 16&13 and we have just changed to week on week off in September at the children's request

I did 2 and 2 and found it too "busy " for them. I think maybe the 3/4 pattern would have worked better in hindsight for us.

Changing every day is ridiculous and would soon get bored of that and the endless "where is the PE kit" shenanigans quite aside from it being bad for the kids.

We do 2/2/5/5. Works ok. Still a lot of schlepping about which the kids find annoying but neither they nor me wanted the week on week off suggested by ex probably to prevent me having any kind of regular social life

He would soon get bored that should have read

My friends have a 2yo and do week on/week off. Not sure it's good for the child, but none of my business..

We do fri - fri with parent a, but they go to parent b on the Monday overnight. Means they’re never more than 3 nights away from each parent. We have changed it to full weeks outing the pandemic to reduce the risk of both households having to isolate if anyone gets covid.

I did 2/2/5/5 for a bit but was almost impossible to manage my work round it because I have a long commute. Youngest struggled with the 5 day stretches (he was 7 then).
Now we do 4/3/3/4 with handover on weds and either sat or sun. It's fine except quite hard to keep on top of their school clothes as they all migrate to exH on a weds.

DP is week on/week off with his and that works really well for them but they are older.

We do every Mon and Tues night at ExH's, every other weekend with him Fri eve to Sun pm, when it's my weekend they do Sunday night with ex H.

DC 15 disliked week and week about and now does Mon and Tue at dad's, Wed and Thur with me mad alternate weekends. Seems to work better for me too.