Some advice please on my first solicitor's consultation

[Atleastthedoglovesme]

My DH has left me, at this stage he may or may not be back and I may or may not have him back.

In the meantime I've booked my first 30 minute free consultation with a solicitor specialising in family law.

What documentation or details should I gather for this first consultation and what questions should I ask?

We both work full time, DH earns far far more than me (not self employed). He receives a modest performance bonus yearly. DS18 is in uni (who costs us a fortune because we top up his minimum maintenance loan)

DD16 is doing her GCSEs, will be staying at home for her A levels and them most likely also be heading to uni.

We have a little bit of debt, and my car will be paid off in a couple of months.

We don't have a huge amount of equity in our house, but it is quite sellable.

Please help me get my ducks in a row so I can get the most out of this solicitors meeting.

I'm emotional and my heads all over the place but I need to start thinking about looking after myself now.

Take some id
They will ask for both salary details, ages of the children, property values / mortgage and any other assets and liabilities ( you don’t need evidence if these at this stage)

Despite my dh earning more I was advised because I work full time and our children are almost adults ( 15/16) and we have longish marriage ( 14 years plus 3 cohabiting) it would be 50:50 as my needs met

@millymollymoomoo thank you your your advice and experience. Really appreciate it.

This will sound harsh but take the advice seriously, take the emotion out of your decision making (you will still be thinking of your family not your needs and you must!) If you own your home also consider a tenancy in common it means should you die whilst still married your half passes to your estate and not to your spouse. Unlikely but I wanted to ensure it passed to my children! It’s quick and a fairly cheap way to protect yourself.

Thank you @AustinRd you are right, emotions are high. I knew I'd get some solid advice on MN.

So interesting, I have started my own thread about getting divorced in Spain.

I have seen a lawyer.

200 euros a month. Can't leave the country with my DD (11). 20 years married means fuck all. Lost pension means fuck all.

I am bitter and telling you this to cheer you up! You are in a great position. A nice civilised country, it will be fine. But you need to be strong.

As a PP said, think of your needs.

OP this won't happen to you, what has happened to me (yesterday) take ID as others have said, deeds to house? Really anything you can. Good luck.

You'll be fine.

From what I remember (it's been a while)

Photo ID

Marriage & birth certificates - yours & dc

Financial paperwork - bank statements, paperwork for any trusts etc, deeds if applicable, evidence of his income if you have it too

Questions:

What their experience/background is including how long they've worked in that jurisdiction (knowing the local family judges can be crucial) - not all solicitors are equal and just because they belong to eg family law society doesn't necessarily make them a good divorce lawyer

What they honestly expect your settlement to be - helps with previous question, you can also use it as a comparative when/if considering other solicitors

How long they expect the process to take roughly - as above with comparative