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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Teenager sending vile message to her Dad

14 replies

Angelica76 · 09/01/2020 21:30

We separated in October 2019. three weeks after to started a new relationship, splashed it all over facebook, even mentioned his new partners name.

I have three children and they can see all of this (all of them teenager)
They have been sending him vile messages including his new partner.

I can't tell them to block their Dad, otherwise I would be accused of stopping them communicate with him and if they continue with the chat, I could be blamed for the anger they are displaying towards him, I think they've even told him to go die!

I'm worried of the legal implications this could have on me, even though its my teenage sending these messages, I have told her not to, but she's so strong headed. Could I get into trouble for her sending messages with the courts?

Would love to hear from you all xx

OP posts:

Shouldbedoing · 09/01/2020 21:35

I think you have to stop them. This is basically bad behaviour/harrassment. Remove their internet access if need be.

Shouldbedoing · 09/01/2020 21:37

She may misguidedly believe shes sticking up.for you. Tell her shes doing the opposite, causing potential trouble for you all. Introduce her to the art of writing it all down in a letter WHICH NEVER GETS POSTED

Original poster

Angelica76 · 09/01/2020 21:44

My younger daughter was so angry that she said never call me again, he replied with "don't worry I won't" and put the phone down on her.

He send my other a daughter a message tonight saying he's cancelled my car insurance with immediate effect and that if the police pull me over I will lose my car. She's only 13, I think this made her so angry she called him names and was with her friends at the time and this just encouraged her more!

I'm so heart broken for the children, but he needs to grow up and consider them rather than his own feelings.

OP posts:

PanicAndRun · 09/01/2020 21:45

How old is she actually?

Has her dad moaned about it?

I'd ask her to stop because it's not actually helping anyone . I'd also delete him and her/block him off her fb. As long as he can get in touch with her through you, on her phone,email etc that is enough. She doesn't have to sit and watch her dad having this great life with his new partner. It's a difficult thing to deal with and I don't blame her for sending angry rants.

slipperywhensparticus · 09/01/2020 21:48

The only reply that needs is I am a child and I should not be involved in adult disputes

Introduce her to grey rock advise her to block him on the grounds that he should not be communicating through her anyway

And get you own car insurance

JasonPollack · 09/01/2020 21:53

Get them to block him. He's obviously involving them in your disputes and saying hurtful stuff. NC until the dust has settled would be better for everyone.

Louise91417 · 09/01/2020 21:54

Sounds like theres a lot of lashing out between your children and their dad. You have my sympathy being stuck in the middle of it. It is going to be really hard to get an angry teenager to stop and think before they act but in order to resolve some sort of a quiet life this is whats needs to happen. Sounds like dad needs to grow up and stop pushing buttons, he needs to understand his children are hurting and his "new circumstances" are adding to that being rubbed in there faces. I dont think anyone (if he does try to make an issue of it) will see anything other than his children feeling very hurt amd lashing out because of his actions. Your aim should be to get on with having a quiet life and make it clear to your dc that you need them to be less vocal.to acheive this...

Original poster

Angelica76 · 09/01/2020 21:55

To be honest, I've blocked him on everything at the moment, he's putting me under so much pressure regarding finances, I just prefer to communicate with him only through a solicitor.

If I block him and so do the children, he will blame me for not letting him know how the children are.

I need to speak to my solicitor regarding this, she did say that the courts will take into consideration what the children want, and if he continues to post all over social media what he's doing with his new partner this will aggravate them more!

OP posts:

PanicAndRun · 09/01/2020 22:44

Make a new email address. Give it to him for the explicit purpose of contact about the children. Block him on everything else, and do the same on the children's devices too.

Check new email/send him an update once a week or if you feel like it.

Keep any previous communication that involved threats,harassment ,abuse etc.

RUSU92 · 09/01/2020 22:50

Screen shot his shitty message threatening you as if it may be helpful to document his part in this if it comes to court etc and then as others have said, explain to her that this could cause you both trouble and that the best way to deal with it is to detach. It’s awful that she’s feeling so upset about it, so I totally understand why she’s done it. But she does need to know it’s unacceptable.

Bluerussian · 09/01/2020 23:11

I don't think there are any legal implications for you, op, but I feel sorry that you are on the periphery of your ex husband's rows with his children. He sounds childish and tit for tat by stopping your car insurance and saying so to them, it's not their business. I assume you have a job and can take over the payment.

As for splashing his new relationship all over social media, I do wonder how old the man is. He must have known his children would see it and be upset and anyway, it isn't an act of a grown man. I'm glad you've blocked him but if you do have to speak to him or anyone you know who is friendly with both of you, does, it could be suggested that he takes all the social media stuff down. It's infantile and he must be made aware how unfair he has been to post all that, especially to his three children.

LemonPrism · 10/01/2020 01:42

You cannot be sued or have any legal co sequence from the words shared by your nearly adult children. Chill.

11 is the age of criminal responsibility and civil cases cannot be taken against children.

Weenurse · 10/01/2020 02:02

They are angry and hurt.
Encourage them to block him at this stage until things are calmer

BringMeAGinandTonic · 10/01/2020 05:05

If this is on Facebook, I thought there was a way you can block certain people from seeing certain posts. He might do this when he posts about him and his new partner, so that the DC don't get upset.

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