Mediation - how to agree on a mediator

[Yahoomum]

For those of you that have been down this route, how did you agree on a mediator to use? I’m not sure if my stbxh intends on using it to kick start the court process or to try and reach and agreement, but surely if it’s the latter we should decide between us a)that we want to try that and b)which mediator or firm to use? He’s just told me ‘we have to seek mediation’ and told me who he’s made an appointment with and that they will contact me.

By definition a mediator is there to be impartial and act as a guide to what would potentially stand as viable in court in your particular area/circumstances.

Apart from cost what would you expect to find out about them or what would you need to find agreeable about them? Some may specialise in things like shuttle but if it's standard mediation then not sure what other criteria you may be considering

One of you finds the mediator and invites the other to mediation.

In most cases the mediator will meet both of you separately for a first meeting.

If either of you doesn't like the mediator, who as a PP pointed out should be impartial, then you say so and suggest another one.

Most of the time doing stuff like that is simply an excuse to delay and drag out mediation though there are loads of other tricks people use e.g. not being available for silly reasons so sessions are sporadic, refusing to agree to anything, agreeing to things in mediation then going back on some of the things that were agreed.