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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Sharing the family car,

17 replies

Yellowshirt · 29/03/2019 21:15

My wife is now stopping me using the family car to even take my daughter to swimming lessons and galas. I'm literally at breaking point now. I feel so low

OP posts:
missmouse101 · 29/03/2019 21:18

My goodness, that sounds awful. Why is she doing that? What does she say about it?

boxlikeamarchhare · 30/03/2019 04:52

I separated from H recently and have done the same thing. It is in my name, on a personal lease contract. I am paying for it and it is at my risk.

H damaged it the week before he left in a car park.

Why do you think you should still be using it?

Napssavelives · 30/03/2019 05:15

I dunno , I’m the same. My ex left, treated me pretty badly at the end of our marriage , broke my head and My kids to go live a bachelor life style. He’s made his bed he can lie in it

Moneymachine · 30/03/2019 10:42

I would advise to find alternative arrangements- lift with a friend etc. Unfortunately not much you can do until assets are divided , if she is not amicable about the situation. Had similar other way around when my husband demanded to use the family car that was registered in my name but he could not be trusted with it (speeding fines, etc). He had to get another car

Original poster
Yellowshirt · 30/03/2019 11:24

Why do i think I should still be using it? Because it is a jointly owned car and I allow her to use it all week without fail. She is a controlling horrible woman who has basically destroyed me and is now just trying to push me over the edge

OP posts:
Hotterthanahotthing · 30/03/2019 11:27

Who's name is it registered with,insured by.?

PicsInRed · 30/03/2019 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IsItBetter · 30/03/2019 17:19

No such thing as a jointly owned car - I'm assuming it has one registered keeper - your wife (or soon to be ex wife?).

Nothing you can do if it's legally hers. Just make sure you don't pay for it in any shape or form. If you paid for the insurance cancel it and get a refund.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 30/03/2019 21:25

Ownership and registered keeper are not the same thing.

I'm sure the women on here who are telling you that it isn't yours would be the first to demand a share of your pension (in your name) as a marital asset! Why? Because it is a marital asset. So is the car.

The car is an asset that should be accounted for within the division of assets through the financial settlement. Do NOT buy a new one yet that you pay for alone, because if you do that will become a marital asset as well. If she has decided to keep the car, it needs offsetting against property / pensions / other assets.

In the meantime, can you secure a good deal on a long term rental? Or borrow a car from a friend? Or lift share? Or anything else to avoid sinking yet more of your money into another asset that she will also then claim.

Original poster
Yellowshirt · 30/03/2019 22:41

Slightlymisplaced.... thanks for your help. I am of the same opinion as you.
Isitbetter I come on this forum for help during the most horrible and stressful period of my life so either help people or don't bother to comment with your awkward.... or let's throw a spanner in the works opinion. Everyone one understood my predicament and was willing to offer me advice I don't need more stress from you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowshirt · 30/03/2019 22:43

It was insured by us both but I paid her but she has cancelled my insurance

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowshirt · 30/03/2019 22:52

Naps.... I'm in the same boat, I was treated like a 2nd class citizen by my wife for 10 years and yet she is still continuing to just basically destroy me. She knows being a good dad is my only passion now I'm that low.
I'm so so angry with my ex mother in law who knows the whole truth and watched me break down in front of her just standing by watching her daughter right now

OP posts:
IsItBetter · 30/03/2019 22:56

If the car is in her name you don't have a right to drive it... That's just a fact, right or wrong.

It will be included in the pot of assets to split, however.

Original poster
Yellowshirt · 30/03/2019 23:09

It's the family car and has been for 6 years so it should be shared but there you go.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 30/03/2019 23:13

Who’s name is it regiatered in?

Original poster
Yellowshirt · 30/03/2019 23:34

If I'm honest I think it is in her name but that was just for convenience not because she solely owned or drove the car. So it's OK to stop me taking my 13 year old daughter swimming then because she can. My God I would hate to be so bitter and selfish after everything else I have had to deal with

OP posts:
Palaver1 · 31/03/2019 04:38

Yellowshirt how unfair on your daughter.Have you asked nicely you really have to play a game ..I’m sorry but in your case you have too in order to stay sane and well.
Try your hardest to get control by rising above all this.
You know your wife try to be one step ahead of the game you can do it really you can she knows what’s going to upset you she’s using that as a weapon you mustn’t allow her to remove your focus on what is important

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