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London based lawyer for divorcing a covert narcissist?

32 replies

PinkStripes7 · 26/02/2018 21:33

Can anyone please recommend a London based lawyer who is familiar with narcissism (specifically covert)?

OP posts:
wobytide · 26/02/2018 22:56
MrsBertBibby · 27/02/2018 07:42

You just need an experienced family solicitor who isn't scared of a scrap, OP.

What part of London?

PinkStripes7 · 28/02/2018 11:22

Central London would be ideal...

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 28/02/2018 15:00

Central London generally means very high charges.

But if you can afford it try Family Law in Partnership in Covent Garden, they are excellent.

southbailey · 28/02/2018 15:04

Crisp and Co were brilliant for me.
They dealt with my narc ex.

PinkStripes7 · 28/02/2018 20:42

@MrsBertBibby and @southbailey- thank you.

What were the fees like roughly? Would you recommend anyone in particular?

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 28/02/2018 21:12

No idea what FLIP charge, I just know they're good. I charge £230 an hour as an outer suburbs type, so you can just call them and ask. I imagine It's well over £300. Here's a table of guide rates, although individual solicitors can charge you whatever you contract to pay them.

Ilovecrumpets · 28/02/2018 21:18

I found central London solicitors usually 300-360 an hour. And always remember to add in the VAT!

southbailey · 02/03/2018 09:27

You don't even want to know what I've paid over the last 2 years, it's obscene, but I have felt safe and supported and understood by my solicitor all the way through and they got me what I needed which I doubted would be possible at some points!

serena5610 · 03/03/2018 04:13

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PinkStripes7 · 04/03/2018 21:03

Thanks for information, all.

A little nervous about possible fees mounting up. Is there a rough estimate of what to save for legal fees?

OP posts:
Familylawsolicitor · 04/03/2018 22:04

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thisishard2 · 05/03/2018 06:05

I have been going since June 2017 and have already spent between 12 and 13K. And it's not over yet Shock.

MrsBertBibby · 05/03/2018 08:04

The last case I did that went to trial amounted to around £38K including counsel's fees and all disbursements. That was at outer London rates, with no additional hearings (just FDA, FDR, and trial) but a lot of dicking about by the husband, and him instructing an atrocious solicitor..

I guess central London rates would push that to £50K or more.

Don't pick a central London lawyer on the basis they are easy to get to from your office, that is a real false economy!

southbailey · 05/03/2018 14:22

I think MrsBertBibby is right about false economy.
I went with who I went with on the recommendation of a friend, and also because it made it easier to go and see them when I was at work in London. BUT , bearing in mind we are not through yet - still got to get the consent order etc - I will be at 60k having only been to court for one FDA on a children matter. The rest was correspondence - and having to get them to deal with his shitty, narc attitude esp re the children at the beginning.
Assets in the pot make this worth is (hmm) but were it a different situation I would be bankrupt!

RockPaperCut · 05/03/2018 16:27

To give you an idea of cost, since November 2017 I’ve spent roughly 45k, correspondence, multiple hearings for child arrangements with the final due soon. FDR then most likely FH for finances. I’ll be very lucky if my costs come in under 70k.

PinkStripes7 · 12/03/2018 14:12

These figures are terrifying! Are they routine?

OP posts:
percy1979 · 12/03/2018 14:40

I am also in London - these costs are terrifying.

MrsBertBibby · 12/03/2018 16:01

Most cases settle if people aren't being ridiculous, but getting divorced can be bloody expensive.

MissTeBe · 12/03/2018 16:03

I’m in St Albans and the fees are still £400 + vat per hour

Divorce is hideously expensive

MrsBertBibby · 12/03/2018 16:05

£400 an hour outside London is stupid money.

I'm South London at £220. Although I could justify £250.

Bloomed · 12/03/2018 16:06

I'd get a personal recommendation and as other wise pps have said, not central London. Then try not to engage with him yourself too much.

JudgeyJudy · 12/03/2018 18:21

Sorry, I have no advice. I'm just wondering how your STBExDH's narcisism manifested itself. I think mine may be too.

RockPaperCut · 12/03/2018 18:47

My fees are £275 plus vat, outside London. Divorce is relatively cheap, if you’re both reasonable.

In my case, STBX refused to engage for months. Promised there’d be nothing left when he was done, he’s the type that thinks he’s entitled to keep everything, as he’s worked hard for it. Forgetting my contribution raising his dc, then suddenly he wants full residency due to my mental instability Hmm once he realised that he could reduce his financial obligations, if dc live with him full time. I had little option but to take it to court.

Mediate and keep it out of court if you’re able to but if your ex a narcissist it will be nigh on impossible to keep it out of court. People like this do not concede on anything.

Jaxinthebox · 12/03/2018 21:36

Ive sent you a message OP. Very fair in price, wont charge over the odds and worth every single penny!

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