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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Enforcing court orders that are being ignored - what will a court do?

18 replies

donners312 · 08/09/2017 20:28

My ex took me to court for access to DC - he lied about where he lived and court ordered me to drive 6 hours to take DC to him.

I have not done this because:-
I cannot afford the train fare.
It means a stay in hotel as no train back to where i live.
He does not live there anyway - he lied
The DC don't want to go
He does not appear to have anywhere for the DC to stay (house share with strangers)

I have suggested he comes to see the DC here either for the day or stay in a hotel.

He is threatening to take me back to court because i won't take the DC to him.

What is the court likely to say in this event? so far every time we go to court I am shocked how the court bend over backwards to facilitate HIS needs and ignore what the DC want. Cafacss never ordered wishes and feeling as i have never said they can't or won't go as trying to keep the kids out of it but....

OP posts:

DuchessMinnie · 09/09/2017 10:51

Do you mean that he actually lives closer but is forcing you to take the DC on a longer trip? Could you get proof that he's lying? I don't know much about the courts I'm afraid but I imagine they would take a dim view of this- it's not in the interests of the DC which is the main thing.

Notreallyarsed · 09/09/2017 10:52

I remember your other threads OP, I think you've got a good case if you can prove where he actually lives. The court won't look kindly on his bullshit at all.

kittybiscuits · 10/09/2017 08:28

You need to be proactive if you appear to be breaching the order because he could return to court and become resident parent on the basis of your non-compliance with the current order. Have you got a solicitor?

Original poster

donners312 · 10/09/2017 16:57

I don't think he could become the resident parent as he lives in a shared house during the week? It would mean DC moving hours away plus they don't want to see him after spending time with him in the holidays (where he left them with his new GF that they didn't even know for a week!!) He also wouldn't want the DC? He doesn't even want to come and see them just insists that I have to take them to him.

I can prove where he lives as I got a private investigator so I do have that evidence now - i even found out he only lived 40 minutes away from the DC for a year and saw them twice that year as he said he lived 6 hours away, unbelievable.

OP posts:

kittybiscuits · 10/09/2017 18:01

You need to protect yourself and DC from a negative outcome if he returns to court because you breached the order. All that circumstantial stuff is not sufficient.

kittybiscuits · 10/09/2017 18:04

I'm on your side, by the way.

Original poster

donners312 · 10/09/2017 18:11

No thanks Kitty I appreciate the comments. I m just so drained and fed up with it all it is impossible to deal with him he is such a bully but my experience with the court i they bend over backwards to facilitate him and his fuckwittery!!!

Kids meant to speak with him now and they are both kicking off and saying "well you can't make us speak to him etc" and i am like ......

OP posts:

kittybiscuits · 10/09/2017 18:38

It's really difficult and I understand your views on court. Did you have a solicitor at the time?

Original poster

donners312 · 10/09/2017 19:05

When i went the first few times i did but it didn't make much difference he could afford barristers and the rulings were always bizarre,

Even my solicitor said to me to go alone because she said he was so odd i was just wasting my money and time. She did for a while help me for free but i think she is over it now too.

I can't afford a solicitor now - i am working and single mum so i seriously cannot afford solicitor fee's and because my ex just sits there and lies and the courts do not seem to care (I had all the evidence to show he was lying) i just don't have any faith now that justice ever gets done? I really feel like you get further being a liar and a dickhead. I have been yo court 8 times and every time i have been really shocked how unjust it is.

OP posts:

Notreallyarsed · 10/09/2017 19:07

I was extremely naive when I first went to court, thinking the best interests of the child were paramount. That soon got knocked out of me, along with any faith that they saw beyond XH cheap suit and empty promises. It still makes me sick.

kittybiscuits · 10/09/2017 19:12

I hear over and over again about the NRP lying and the court being indifferent. Your order sounds strange as well. Is your ex wealthy or influential in some oter way?

kittybiscuits · 10/09/2017 19:12

*other

Original poster

donners312 · 10/09/2017 19:18

yes he is wealthy but lies and says he has no money. His girlfriend is a millionaire.

My ex left me and the DC homeless and emptied every penny from out joint bank accounts and has refused to pay maintenance (because he didn't have to work because he has money).

He paid me £200 this month for the first time in 2 years because he has now got a job. This would equal to him earning £25K I think but when we were married he was earning £150K there is no way he is working for 25K. But the CMS is crap and i feel like i am not getting anywhere.

OP posts:

Original poster

donners312 · 10/09/2017 19:18

and yes totally agree o thought it was all about best interests of the DC and that it would be just and fair but it isn't!!

OP posts:

greenberet · 10/09/2017 21:34

Hi donners never ending shit!

How much do your kids know re court order etc - can you tell them that the court says you have to do xyz but if they don't want to that's their decision.

Could you record their reactions without them knowing - so say court says we have to phone your father - you make phone call - leave phone for them and then record them protesting

Don't know if this would help - not sure what else to suggest

Original poster

donners312 · 11/09/2017 16:40

Hi Greenbelt - how you doing? Well i do have an email that I found that my DD sent her friend saying how much she hated her father and how she didn't want to go and stay with him. He friend asked why are you going then and DD replied 'because i don't want my mum to get into any more trouble because he keeps taking her to court' i have kept it and have a few similar things like that. How are things going with you greenberet??

OP posts:

kittensinmydinner1 · 01/10/2017 20:51

Juliecorrigan . I would like to eat in my work-place restaurant. I would like a brand new car. I would also like spare money with which to socialise.
I would also like my mother to subsidise my housing (even though I know she struggled to pay the mortgage without her ex husband and wife helping) .
But guess what ? I don't do those things. Because I can't afford them ! I take sandwiches . I use public transport and I don't socialise if I can't afford it. !!

As for the OP contributing family money to enhance a lifestyle that would be more opulent than the OP . It is bonkers.

Our three at uni have loans. They live on loans and part time work. One also doing medical degree so has shifts. Still has a job !

Giving her more money just teaches her to put her hand out and be more entitled. It's not doing her a favour.

kittensinmydinner1 · 01/10/2017 20:56

Apologies- wrong thread..

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