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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Financial Disclosure - prove that ex has a girlfriend living with him

33 replies

Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 20:56

Today 18:29 Cmrmums80

Hello,

My husband left myself and our son for his affair partner (although denies that she was on the scene beforehand - ha), and he lived by himself for 6 months in a flat with her coming and going.

We are getting divorced.

He has now moved into a lovely town house, which is he is renting. The thing is he can in NO WAY afford to pay for that house and also pay half the mortgage for the family house and Child Maintenance.

We are in the process of starting the Financial Disclosure. THIS is where the problem is. I know deep down that he wants me to sell the house. He is going to tell the courts he cannot afford to live and therefore will need me to sell the house. Freeing up a lot of equity.

He is refusing to admit she is living with him, even though my son stays every other weekend and one night during the week, and she is always there. My son said there were New Home cards addressed to the both of them.

Any ideas of how to prove he has money on the side with his girlfriend, and it is NOT just his bank account which he uses for Rent and Bills??
He has more than enough money with both of them working.

OP posts:
Minime85 · 28/03/2017 20:59

Her earnings won't be taken in to account I don't think unless they are married. I don't think you can be made to sell house he has to pay towards keeping the basic for his son which obviously includes a home. Are you able to buy him out?

reallyanotherone · 28/03/2017 21:01

Her income is irrelevant.

They will only look at his finances.

However, if he has a roof over his head, it is unlikely they will force you to sell the house. They would only do that if not doing so would make him homeless.

You will either need to buy remortgage in your name, or come to an agreement where he gets his equity share when the children are adults.

Get a solicitor.

AmyMum2mumStoke · 28/03/2017 21:18

Good advice here...is there enough equity in the property for both of you to be housed? If not he's out of luck, his income clearly means he is able to rent and the courts put your children's needs first which is to make sure they are housed and if the only realistic way of doing this is to keep him on the mortgage that that is what they will do. Get some legal advice even if it's just a free half an hour x

Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:30

There is £90k each equity. I do not want to move and will not be able to afford a mortgage on my £800 wage per month.
The point is, he never would have got that lovely house if he knew his girlfriend was not going to be there to help him pay.
He would have got a small 2 bedroomed flat...

OP posts:
Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:31

I do have a solicitor but I am trying to keep costs down, so wanted to see if others had been through the same thing.
Thanks everyone. X

OP posts:
Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 28/03/2017 21:33

Electoral role?

Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:33

He is purely waiting for the Financials to be dealt with and then 'Bam!' She magically moves in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:37

I have snooped the Electoral Role already-but it still has her name under her parents town from years ago. She houseshared with mates so she probably never needed to fill a form out again.

OP posts:
reallyanotherone · 28/03/2017 21:41

The point is, he never would have got that lovely house if he knew his girlfriend was not going to be there to help him pay.
He would have got a small 2 bedroomed flat...

Again, irrelevant. Presumably his half of the rent for the "lovely house" isn't much different to a two bed flat on his own. And isn't it better for your son to be going to a lovely house?

You will get child maintenance based in his wage. How he houses himself does nothing to affect that.

That leaves the court to decide whether you can afford the house your son lives in. Again, where he lives or how much rent he chooses to pay makes no difference. You can't tell him how to spend his money any more than he can tell you how to spend yours. If you can't afford to remortgage in your own name they will decide on his contribution toward the mortgage, and his share of equity will be adjusted to reflect that once the child is an adult.

Again, his income is only relevant for cm, nothing to do with your divorce.

Fwiw when dh got divorced, the court looked at the mortgage she could afford, and awarded dh equity based on that. they calculated the mortgage she could get on her wage, and dh got the difference- so he got 10k out of 100k equity as that's all she could release.

Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:42

My son is 10. He volunteered the card names by the way! Kids say things randomly.

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Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:43

Thanks for your help everyone.

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reallyanotherone · 28/03/2017 21:45

It makes no difference if he's living with her.

Dh's ex had her new bloke moved in to their house. As they weren't married the court didn't factor him in at all.

Honestly don't waste your time persuing this one. Things will be worked out on what you can afford. Nothing to do with her.

Minime85 · 28/03/2017 21:46

Have you talked to him about what you both want to do re finances?

Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:55

He rang me yesterday and I jotted down his ideas...once his Pension details are disclosed, I will take to my solicitor.
Ex Hub implied 3 scenarios, pensions offsetting equity being one of them, then me getting more equity of the house and not touching his pension, or selling up completely.
I just am fed up with him pretending he can't live like this with no money.

Ok, thanks guys.

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Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 21:56

Would rather wait til son is 18 or I have a new partner living with me.

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Minime85 · 28/03/2017 22:06

I had majority of equity in house and for that I didn't touch ex pension even though I worked part time for 7 yrs so mine depleted. I just wanted to be independent. What would be the benefits of waiting until son 18?

Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 28/03/2017 22:18

It would mean that I have 8 years of finding a way to afford a house.
I always thought the mother stayed in the family home until the child is 18 or remarrys.

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AnnettePrice · 29/03/2017 11:33

Sorry guys but have any of you read the form e?
Form e section 4.6 :
If you have subsequently married or formed a civil partnership (or intend to) or are living with another person (or intend to) , give brief details, so far as they are known to you, of his or her income, assets and liabilities.

Therefore OPs ex should fill out this section with the basic financial details of the new partner the ex is living with. In theory criminal proceedings may be brought for fraud if form e is deliberately filled out untruthfully (as stated on page 1 of the form).

mrssapphirebright · 29/03/2017 16:24

Courts / Solicitors won't be interested in whether he is living with his gf or not. Financial disclosure form only looks at his incomings / assets and debts.

The reality if if he splits up with his gf then he would still need to house / support himself. Her salary / contributions will not be taken into account.

mrssapphirebright · 29/03/2017 16:29

Sorry guys but have any of you read the form e?
Form e section 4.6 :
If you have subsequently married or formed a civil partnership (or intend to) or are living with another person (or intend to) , give brief details, so far as they are known to you, of his or her income, assets and liabilities.

Therefore OPs ex should fill out this section with the basic financial details of the new partner the ex is living with. In theory criminal proceedings may be brought for fraud if form e is deliberately filled out untruthfully (as stated on page 1 of the form).

My solicitor advised me that this question was a waste of time as the courts don't care. I lied on my form e (as did my current dh) and no one did anything.

My dh moved in with me whilst going through his divorce to exw. She threatened lots of rubbish about how much better off he was with me and how she wanted more money etc - the court wasn't interested. His solicitor said that it was not worth her spending the money on court fees / solicitors fees trying to 'prove' that we were living together.

Minime85 · 29/03/2017 17:24

Solicitor has advised us same. Only time it can be taken into account is if married.

oldfatandtired1 · 29/03/2017 21:37

Well my ex freely admitted he was living with the GF and disclosed her income. At court it WAS taken into account in that the judge said that his living expenses would be halved i.e. If his gas bill was £100 a month then 'his' share would only be £50 with GF also expected to pay £50.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 30/03/2017 16:06

Please be careful about using information gathered by your son. There's something about that that doesn't sit right aith me. Finding it hard to believe you haven't asked him any questions and a 10 year old just volunteered out of the blue that new home cards were addressed to both of them.

Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 30/03/2017 16:50

PotatoSalad, I asked my son about a couple of weeks ago if she was living there and he said Dad says no. My son then brought it up again of his own accord this week and said "By the way Mum, I think she IS living there because the cards said...."
He is also the child who said "Mum, I think Dad liked "name"before he left us."
So he is not stupid.
This thread isn't really focussing on the New Home cards.

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Original poster
Cmrmums80 · 30/03/2017 16:52

Thankyou everyone for your help with this.

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