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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Did you move house or area after your divorce and why?

13 replies

flirtygirl · 09/03/2017 01:22

Hi im thinking if moving area and at least house for a new start after divorce, i keep being told im wrong so seeking others outlook and opinions, thanks

OP posts:

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TreeTop7 · 09/03/2017 07:47

I'd be wary of moving children away from school and friends. I also think it's a bad idea to relocate miles away from the ex in order to punish/inconvenience him, no matter how much of a scuzz he's been (and there are some prime examples of scuzzballs on this topic, believe me!)

However, if you can't afford to stay, perhaps because property in your town is expensive, or if domestic violence has played a role, a fresh start miles away could be a good option.

Family/close friends support could be relevant.

During the upheaval of divorce, I would not have liked to change my job. The routine and familiarity of my workplace has been a godsend over the last few months.

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persicaria · 09/03/2017 08:49

I did. We had been living in an area that suited ExH's commuting but far from both families. DC no longer living at home so that wasn't an issue for me. Moved around a lot since then with mine and DP's work, and settled now in a place we both like and convenient for both our families. It's great to think that it's really unlikely I will run into arseface ExH in the supermarket

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Chasingsquirrels · 09/03/2017 08:53

I didn't. I kept the house and stayed here with the kids. I like it, didn't need to move and didn't want to.

Further down the line new DP, now DH, moved in with me and we were keeping an eye on the market with a view to moving if we found somewhere that suited - but not just for the sake of it.

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flirtygirl · 09/03/2017 15:20

Thank you all. I have more reasons to move than to stay with cost being one of them but im getting worn down by stbexh and some family and i was starting to think im being unreasonable. I really need a fresh start and have more to gain then l would lose.

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appledumpling74 · 09/03/2017 17:35

We both moved but stayed locally for schools and jobs. We had to sell the house as neither of us could afford to keep it.

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WatchingFromTheWings · 09/03/2017 17:40

I left the house and kids came with me. He'd have made my life hell if I stayed and I could never have afforded it anyway. I stayed local for a couple of years due to kids school and friends and my work. Had to leave the area due to continued verbal abuse from him (on my doorstep) and intimidation.

Do what's best for YOU and the kids.

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Lonecatwithkitten · 09/03/2017 18:51

Moved locally after four years. Only once I had moved did I start to feel better and that I had a 'new life'.

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CatsDogsandDC · 09/03/2017 20:42

I hung on for five years but have just moved locally. Ultimately, in my old house, there were too many bad memories. My bedroom was where I first found out he was cheating, my living room was where he told me all about how much effort he put into finding interesting snippets of news to discuss with OW even though he never had an opinion on anything with me.

Sometimes you just need that break with the past, If you want it, take it.

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flirtygirl · 11/03/2017 10:23

Thanks for all replies.
I need to move and say goodbye to stbexh, the memories in the house and even the flaming supermarket as these just make me feel blah and maybe I wont feel like this forever but a fresh start is calling me.

OP posts:

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NotJanine · 13/03/2017 12:29

I had to move as we needed to sell the house. Even if we didn't have to, I wouldn't have wanted to stay in the house. Too many memories.
My STBXH has never been in my new house, so it has a very different feel to it - all mine.

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Minime85 · 13/03/2017 13:27

wanted to move house. Moved to next village about 1.5 yrs after he left. Kids needed a house their dad hadn't lived in and I did too. I had new partner too and it was good to have afresh start all round. I always felt like I had to let ex in old house as he was still on mortgage so legally he was allowed. I love me new house. Kids in same schools though. Think that's important if possible to keep that continuity.

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bellflalala · 13/03/2017 13:50

We're going to have to as can't afford to stay in the area we are in, actually can't afford to stay in London so moving an hour and a half away to be closer to family and to be able to afford a house. It's going to be hard and upheaval for everyone in every way, but the stability we can find in the future will hopefully outweigh this.

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BamboozledByPaperClips · 13/03/2017 21:37

I was going on to post something similar. I think a fresh start is always good for all.

I'm stuck in what to do. Current location was never my choice and I've found it stifling. We're very isolated, not many friends and no family close by. However dd1 started prep-school in September and I'm reluctant to move her.

Location 2 is 60 miles away, the next town along from where I grew up. I love it, lots more happening for all of us. My brother and his wife live there, state schools are good but compeletely over subscribed but stbx won't pay for private fees if we move. Gahhh!