I had to meet STBXH today for mediation to discuss the financial settlement. We had agreed to use a mutual professional friend rather than go through formal mediation. I was so nervous, STBXH has been an absolute shit to me since we split (following disclosure of his affair) and has made threats, lied to me and stolen. He owed me tens of thousands which he had been refusing to repay me.
So it was a big day for me. I'd done my prep, got my bank statements and prepared a document listing all he owed me. We met, I presented the document and told him I was not prepared to negotiate - I had already written off x amount to get to that point. He agreed to repay me this amount - and actually as the discussions continued he also agreed to repay me what I had written off. Such a massive relief.
I come home, relieved and happy but within half an hour am crying my eyes out. The tears have finally stopped 9 hours later. I met him, and during the time I was with him I lost both of my parents and much loved aunt, and went NC with my sister and by default her children. I literally lost everyone I loved. And then lost him too.
Today is a fresh start for me. All the worry and stress of the past 5 months is over. It's such a cliche but really true - a new chapter for me. I hope it is a better one.