hi....
I have 4DC and a contact order dating back 3 years.
Following my eldest's direct intervention (then age 12) the judge made a belated condition that she only had to go when she wanted to, and not for overnight.
She went for a while but ex's behaviour was so bad she stopped. 2nd child stopped following several episodes of intimidating behaviour some months later (children's services not interested even though reported by independent member of the public).
Ex has let this happen and not pursued them...he sees the Dc3 and 4 (agesnow nearly 12 and 10) who up to now have wanted to go and he has treated them ok if you ignore the emotional blackmail and mud slinging.
BUT they are beginning to ask not to go, they have many activities that he will not facilitate in "daddy time"and they are resenting his control.
In brief he was an emotional abuser with a "victim" stance and deeply misogynistic. I don't think he will let DC3/4 drift off and organise their own contact. It will be a fullonbun fight (according to him I am a bully and have to be in control)
What are the chances of a variation coming up with something better for the children and rubber stamping the choices of the older ones?
Is the process a re run of the first time round or are their any short cuts?
My experience of the family courts was anything but supportive or fair which is why I haven't gone back sooner?