What are usual financial arrangements if 50/50 residence?

[EdithSimcox]

DP and me are almost certainly about to split. It will be reasonably amicable. We have 3 DC and will share care equally. We both have good jobs but her salary is a lot higher than mine. We will share child related costs, probably in proportion to our earnings - so that will cover clothes, activities etc etc. I suppose we will each pay for our own housing and bills. But it is usual for the higher earner to pay something towards the kids food, utilities etc, in this situation or because we are 50/50 should I assume that we each pay our own half?

If 50:50 shared care, then no maintenance is payable. If you are divorcing, the asset share may be slightly skewed.
The non-resident parent pays the maintenance regardless of the other parent's income as it is for the child, so is your partner gets residency for more than 50:50, you will pay maintenance to her.

Google divorce calculator UK, gov.uk should come up as a link, you can input all your figures, how the set up will work etc. Sorry can't do links on phone.
Hope you're ok and it's not too stressful for you.

It depends on income. Eg Paul McCartney had to pay his wife a sum which would yield her £700k a year so she could continue to live to the standard of the marriage. My ex husband got nearly 60% of our joint assets (clean break) plus no obligation to pay the children anything as I earned a lot more. In addition our court order says I apy 5 sets of school/university fees (and I support the children).

For you first decide if you can each afford a clean break (no maintenance for the other spouse going forwards at all) plus who will pay what for children. When you say her salary is a lot higher how much? Mine was 10x my ex. If it were say just double then we might have had a different term in the order.

Usually if the children are 50/50 with each parent each parent pays their costs but for most of us childcare (ours was £30k a year) is the biggest expense (and then in our case school fees) so just paying for their lunches when they live with you is not going to cover most of the bigger costs, hence your split based on what you each earn seems a fair way to do it.

UK divorce law is utterly unfair and shafts the higher earner all the time. It is ripe for change.

The OP says DP rather than DH/DW so I'm assuming there will be no divorce?

If it's exactly 50/50 then there will be no claim through the CMS. If it's done amicably then you can come to whatever arrangement you like.

Thanks all. We are CPs so there will be a divorce of sorts though it's called dissolution I think. Anyway I get it now. Thanks.

And daisy it is awful, inevitably, but thank you for asking, and I think I'll be fine. MN and RL friends will see me through.