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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

what am I entitled to, can anyone help? Divorce and house

17 replies

unicorn501 · 18/11/2015 17:53

So, I think it's time to start divorce proceedings. Ex and I have agreed in maintenance and childcare. The only issue is we own a house, in both our names. At the moment it is rented out. We don't want to sell it until at least 2018 if possible, as otherwise we will be hit by early repayment charge on the mortgage. Can we still get a divorce while co-owning a house?!

Also, what am I entitled to regards the house. Will it be 50/50? Or should I get more as I have custody of the DC? I am renting at the moment and would really like to buy a house at some point.

I should go and see a solicitor I know, with working full time and the DC I have no time!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 18/11/2015 17:56

If you have no time to see a solicitorvthen I doubt you will be able to get divorced. Ehy not then wait till you do have time and seek a solicitors advise. Often you can get an hour for free, you can bring round to enquire.

TooSassy · 19/11/2015 13:54

It's highly unlikely a judge will stamp a divorce with assets still co-owned (that's what I was told)

Find the time to see a lawyer, it's pretty important

Re finances, depends on more detail then you have given. Get advice if you can

Cabrinha · 20/11/2015 18:35

Oh come, you can't take a half day off to sort out a legally complicated and important decision?

Original poster
unicorn501 · 21/11/2015 08:27

Well I will go and see a solicitor at some point obviously, but I'm a teacher and have the kids in the holidays so it doesn't leave a lot of spare time.

I guess I should have said it's difficult for me to get to a solicitor right now, and I just wanted to get an idea in my head of what I could expect. ExH wants 50/50 but I don't think that's fair, given that I have to house the DC.

OP posts:
Choughed · 21/11/2015 08:29

Won't he have to house the DC when he has them?

What other assets do you both have? Pensions? Savings?

Original poster
unicorn501 · 21/11/2015 09:11

He never has them overnight at his flat, he lives too far away. No other assets.

OP posts:
throwingpebbles · 21/11/2015 09:26

Some solicitors near us do Saturday morning clinics etc? Might be worth investigating?

Choughed · 21/11/2015 09:39

So pension sharing, future earning potential etc. isn't an issue?

And he'll never have the children over night? Not even school holidays?

knaffedoff · 21/11/2015 09:43

School holidays are coming up, are the children able to go into holiday activity club with friends while you see a solicitor?

MonsterDeCookie · 21/11/2015 09:52

As far as I understand it, the capital (house etc) will be split 50:50 no matter where the kids stay. The child maintenance does greatly vary by the number of nights a child spends at each house.

TooSassy · 21/11/2015 09:57

This is not a question that can be answered without knowing everything else. 50% / 50% is not standard if he is hardly ever going to see DC's. Plus the house will not be looked at in isolation unless you really have nothing else such as pensions to throw in capital pot.

Bear in mind that if he gets a solicitor it is highly unlikely he is going to say he's never having his DC overnight.

Start keeping a record if you haven't already of when he has the kids including overnight

You have to prioritise getting to a lawyer. Your DC's future stability depends on it. As a teacher surely you have a fellow teacher/ someone you can leave then with for half a day?
Make it happen OP.

Original poster
unicorn501 · 21/11/2015 10:30

He has had them overnight in his flat twice in the last 18 months. He moved 200 miles away, lived with his new girlfriend who isn't interested in the kids apparently, so when he sees them he comes to us and then takes them to his parents' for the weekend. He had then for a week in the holidays, again at his parents'.

Maybe I'm being naive but I told him I wasn't interested in his pension, as far as I'm aware there's not much in it at the moment as for a good few years he wasn't paying into one. Future earning potential, is that taken into account? He is a very high earner, I am not! But he does pay more than the minimum for maintenance, an amount we agreed on together.

Hmm, maybe I could book an appointment now for the holidays in December and get someone to watch the kids. Difficult though as it will be Xmas week. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
unicorn501 · 21/11/2015 10:34

Oh, and the house was the family home... But we moved for his work and due to the state of the market we let the house out and rented a place ourselves. Now I live in the area we moved to (not the house we moved into together) and he lives somewhere completely different! But it's not like the house is a buy to let/investment place, it kinda pays for itself but doesn't make any money.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 21/11/2015 10:48

Whatever maintenance you've agreed on isn't binding. Even once you have agreed it via a consent order sealed by the court, child maintenance above CMS is enforceable for one year only. Do NOT rely on elevated maintenance.

And don't be naïve re his pension. He's a high earner and may have company contributions too. Do not assume it is low. You really REALLY need to see a solicitor and do this properly, with full disclosure.

Choughed · 21/11/2015 12:42

Is he likely to have more children?

Original poster
unicorn501 · 21/11/2015 18:58

is he likely to have more children? Nope, he's had a vasectomy.

OP posts:
babybarrister · 21/11/2015 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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