DH is beneficiary of a will - but no actual cash/property handed over yet

[nearlyhadenough]

Hi all,

I am nearly at the point where I can take no more and need to separate/divorce my DH. This has been on the cards for some years - but now DS and DD do not live at home I think it is time to make things happen.

My MIL died 4 1/2 years ago and my DH is one of the beneficiaries. Due to lots of complications (that aren't needed here) it is nowhere near sorted out.

If I were to end the marriage now, would DH's part of the inheritance be included - or would it not count as he doesn't actually have physical cash/property?

We have been together for 25 years, married for 22 - if I have to wait a little longer, I can, but I would rather not have to!

I know this sounds that I am just a money grabbing cow - believe me I am not trying to grab all I can, I just want to be able to secure my future.

I wouldn't have thought it would be included until he has the cash as he will have to wait for tax etc to be sorted. Don't know for sure though.

Sorry, it does sound really grabby. How would you be 'securing your future' if she were still alive and there was nothing to be grabby about?

If your husbands mother wasnt dead, would you stay with him, waiting?

I think you need to proceed as though what there is now is all there is. You want out, it's not worth hanging on for cash. You'll feel better if you are out of an unhappy relationship.

I don't know the legal situation at all but I don't blame you for a moment for wanting to wait till this comes through.

Are you 100% sure it hasn't come through - is there any chance he might be hoarding it and pretending it's not arrived?

You should definitely wait till it's come through or have your financial calculation done on the basis of it.

And you're not grabby For all we know over the last 25 years your parents could have died and you and your dh could have benefitted from it

It can take a long time if the will is not finalised because of complications. Can take years.
Of course it sounds grabby but then we don't know your reasons for leaving DH. If he has been horrible to you or you have put more money/possessions etc into the marriage then only you know this.

See a solicitor for a free consultation.

You are not grabby at all or if you are I am too because I would definitely hold out too!

As perceived inheritance can be a factor in divorce settlements, I'm sure you could proceed and still have your Hs inheritance as a factor, but it's still grabby, beyond reproach IMO.

Thank you all.
I understand that I do seem grabby - if we were to split what is in the marriage now neither of us would be able to buy even a 1 bedroom flat with the cash/equity we have. The inheritance is likely to be approx £800K, which I would ask DH to provide me enough to buy a small 2 bed house, about a quarter (or more than likely less with my small equity percentage).

I think I need to get legal advice but thought that someone may have had similar dealings.

I was under the impression that claims on inheritance were valid in divorce settlements even if inheritance happened soon after divorce (got this from another mn thread and was surprised!) so I think legal advice is the way to go.

Things must have changed as I know a man who didn't have to give his wife any of his inheritance from his mother when they split. It was left to him not them.

Echoing a pp's advice to make an appointment to see a solicitor.

I am pretty sure it's included. It will be like having a claim in a court action where you are not 100% sure you will win. Eg if a dependent is suing the estate which might mean your husband gets a lot less then that would haev to be factored in, where as if there is just a difficult business or house to sell but 99% sure he will get £100k after inheritance tax at 40% is paid then clearly included in my view. If the death had not yet occurred though it is totally different and not included.

Is there the possibility that he could drag out receiving the inheritance to make your life as difficult as possible if you were to leave him now?

poorbuthappy - I don't think he would drag things out, but I do believe he would make his share to be as financially small as possible. Maybe taking ownership of a piece of land that is worth very little now and saying that he his keeping it for future potential.