This maybe a stupid q but do you have to actually attend court for divorce?

[baaaabaaaaabaaaa]

I have always wondered this and I am sorry if it is an obviously stupid question but I need to know.

When divorcing and people mention going to court does this actually mean you have to actually attend the court and get questioned? As in standing infront of a judge and lots of other people and having to answer lots of questions, with your Ex staring at you and anyone else??

The thought of this terrifies me and is why I have been delaying seeking getting out of my marriage.

Do you only go if you cannot agree on who has what and the division of goods/pensions etc?

No, court is not always necessary. Mine was all done remotely with everything being handled by a fairly reasonably priced solicitor, with a letter and certificate pretty much saying, congratulations, you're divorced, here's your settlement, being sent to me at the end of it all.

Court makes for better TV, though.

I had to go to court. I was petrified. Turned out I went into an office type room judge seated behind a desk, table up against desk XH one side, me and my solicitor other side of table. It wasn't like TV.

We had agreed terms but the judge called us in to make sure I understood that the financial arrangements were it. XH just walked away with another women, I let him DC were 1 and 3 - eldest disabled, XH didn't provide any spousal contribution, pay off any of the debt etc. Eventually paid the absolute minimum maintenance for the DC based on a part time income when he left.

i just wanted to be able to establish a life for ourselves and get it over quickly. I have never regretted that.

I see others with long divorces and financially they may or may not end up better off but the bitterness and lost years can't be replaced. If children are involved they can really suffer. On the other hand if there are assets then the children can be protected by securing them.

No, only ever went to a solicitors.

No, I didn't (in Scotland though).

Both me & ExH had to sign statements to say we had agreed financial & childcare arrangements, and get 2 witness statements to confirm. Financial settlement was part of the divorce.

Then it came through the post around 6 weeks later from the High Court.

Not yet, but anticipate having to as ExH has had no legal advice, there are considerable assets and he has lost his job since we made the agreement (18 months after agreement, now 3 years on).