I am leaving with the DC - when do I tell them?

[farendofafart]

I've been planning this for ages but the time is suddenly upon us - I'm moving myself and my two DC (aged just 6 and 1.5) into a new house in 2 weeks time. H will be staying in the house we own.

I've thought a great deal about how to explain it - simple, factual, reassuring, answering questions etc. But I really need some advice about when to tell them. Obviously, it's the 6 year old I'm concerned about.

Should I tell them now? A week before the move? A day before? Or not tell them until I actually move them?

I am leaning towards a couple of days in advance, to give them a chance to process it a little but not too long to start brooding or worrying too much in advance.

But I just don't know.

When my mum left my dad we dropped him off somewhere, then she told me as we drove back home. We moved out that evening while he was out. That worked for me, I think it's too big a burden to tell children in advance and expect them to act normally. Good luck!

How old were you, Glasto?

I was eight. It was a real relief for me when my mum left, my dad was a possessive nightmare! Once I grew up enough to be able to put firm boundaries in place with him, we actually went on to have a great relationship, but if my mum had stayed he would have destroyed us both. Actually my mum tells a funny story about the night we left. We dropped dad off at a work function, then coming home in the car she told me we were leaving dad and moving town (we had to run away and leave him a note). She says she held her breath and if I'd started to cry she doesn't know if she could have gone through with it. Apparantly I went quiet, and then said, 'Does that mean I can't go to my friends house tomorrow?. that's how bothered I was!

Thank you Glasto. That is reassuring! I think I may well tell them on the day it's happening in that case.