Brother-in-laws divorce affecting me and DH

[lucywiltshire]

My brother-in-law and his wife of 30 years are in the middle of a very nasty divorce (all his fault in my opinion) and he is having a classic mid life crisis and making disastrous decisions. My in-laws and my DH are all pretty much siding with him despite his soon-to-be-ex wife being almost suicidal and their three university age kids aren't talking to him. I however find it very difficult to listen to them all acting like he is the victim and not supporting the wife in the way I think they should. This is causing a huge rift between me and the rest of the family. I can't be specific about my bro-in-law's behaviour but be assured that anyone not related to him by blood would be horrified. I am dreading Christmas Day as in-laws including bro-in-law are coming to us.

You're not obliged to fall in with your in laws you know. You can have your own opinion.
You can't expect them not to support him though. Blood is thicker than water and that's what families do.
Youi have your opinion, they have there's...I don't why it should cause contention between you all.

*theirs

I think it is a very difficult situation for you; presumably you are close to your BIL's wife and your neices/nephews. All you can do is be supportive to the wife and children.

As Pictish says, blood is thicker than water, and your PILs and DH are bound to stick with BIL and only believe 'his' side of the story.

Easy to say but try and detach yourself emotionally from the rest of them and keep in touch with the ex-wife. I have been in a similar situation and it is horrible, for everyone concerned. .