well it's official..feeling the fear

[killpeppa]

we are separating... I am now a single mum of two, separated at 21.

we are being calm and amicable.

it's a very scary thought, this will be the first time I'll be on my own- doing everything myself. I moved out of my mums at 18 and in with husband.

any others feeling the fear?

It is a scary place to be
You sound very together though OP.
I wanted to bump this for you - its been a busy night here, but am sure others will be along soon.

thankyou.

it's been an emotional night but I'm keeping it together, it's been thought about for a while.

need to stay calm and clear. I've alot more responsibly now

You need to stay strong - but it sounds like you have been all along. Hold on to that no matter what happens.

If you repost in relationships you will get more traffic :)

Are you staying in the house?

I recommend communicating by text or email as you will have a record of what is said. Also agree contact and stick with the plan. I have found the drawing up new boundaries part to be the hardest bit.

Good luck

I have a post in relationships all about it.

we are staying in the house until I get somewhere else sorted. boundaries was an issue last night as he was wanted to cuddle me in bed :/
then got annoyed cause I said no.

it's very amicable but still the marriage is over.

def feeling the fear.

Gosh, yes, totally, we seperated yesterday after 14 years together, 13 and a half of them married. Ours is very amicable and I think he might be open to counselling but i just don't know it's possible to ever have an equal relationship with a passive aggressive man and Lord knows I have tried. our kids 10,11,17 are being amazing, they're so pragmatic, they just amaze me.

Whatever happens for us all it's going to be a bumpy ride and possibly will get worse before it gets better but whatever happens we mustn't become victims, i did that when my first marriage broke down and it's not the path to happiness...