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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

When did you take your wedding ring off?

48 replies

Noregrets78 · 16/05/2013 11:45

I'm waiting for a date for decree nisi. After 4 months of battles he finally moved out 2 nights ago. I dont feel like I've escaped yet - I'm still constantly jumping at loud noises, terrified he'll just decide to move back in. I forget that I can change anything I like in the house now, without asing his permission, he doesn't live here any more.

Didn't think my wedding ring would come off as it's sat there for 10 years. Tried it today at work and it did! I feel really emotional now.

I'm torn - I love the idea of moving on with life, and this feels like a small step towards that. I'm worried that he'll see and have a go, or worse that DD (8) will see and start asking questions. I'm not sure if I'm a bit premature given he's only just moved out and we're not actually divorced yet.

What did you do?

OP posts:

Sunnywithshowers · 16/05/2013 12:04

He and I had a row and I threw it at him - it bounced off our balcony and I never saw it again.

Sorry, that's not at all helpful. I think you should take it off when you feel you are ready, and ignore his possible response.

Be kind to yourself x

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/05/2013 12:59

The day at relate that he could end his 'friendship' with OW. He wore his for another 6 months whilst shagging OW.

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 16/05/2013 13:02

After 2 weeks. I knew I was completely done. Then he made me feel guilty about it, so I put it back on the other hand. It then got stuck, so I had to go to A&E, who had run out of the metal cutting blades, so I was sent down to the fire station where it was cut off. Then I weighed it in.

Original poster

Noregrets78 · 16/05/2013 13:41

Oh god I love it thank you all. Was just holding it and wondering how much it weighs...

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MatchsticksForMyEyes · 16/05/2013 13:47

I got 80 for mine.

CremeEggThief · 16/05/2013 15:24

A few hours after he told me he was leaving me for another woman.

Sold it with some other unwanted silver jewellery about 6 weeks later.

Original poster

Noregrets78 · 16/05/2013 15:35

Wish I was as strong as all of you. He finally moved out on Tuesday, having been removed by the police on Monday night. And yet I get upset taking off my wedding ring. I know it will get easier eventually :-(

OP posts:

Original poster

Noregrets78 · 16/05/2013 15:35

OP posts:

MumOfTheMoos · 16/05/2013 16:43

You can keep it in as long as you like. You will know when the right time to take it off is.

I took mine off pretty quickly once he'd moved out (this is exh not current dh).

I put mine somewhere safe, list it for years and it only turned up a few months ago but I'm going to sell it with some other gmd jewellry and buy myself a nice vintage broach.

I kept his for long time (he left it behind) as I didn't feel it was mine to sell but did just after I remarried - it had been 9 years since he'd gone so I figured he didn't care.

DotCottonsHairnet · 17/05/2013 08:49

I took mine off about 6 weeks after he moved out. Is with other bits of jewellery he bought me over the years in a box. Once we are divorced I plan to sell the lot and treat myself to something lovely.

Taking the ring off was ok emotionally but the mark it left behind is taking a long time to fade - guess it took over 20 years to get like that so it will take more than 6 months to fade.

fragglemama · 17/05/2013 08:57

I took mine off the day I made him move out.

MirandaWest · 17/05/2013 09:10

Can't remember when I took mine off - think I kept it on for about a year after we separated. Took it off before I started dating again and sold it for about £80 a couple of months ago. Was more than I paid for it which was nice

Sidge · 17/05/2013 09:15

I took mine off the day I threw him out last year. It's still in my jewellery box with my engagement and eternity rings. I'm thinking about weighing them in.

It still feels weird not wearing a wedding ring - my finger feels 'empty'.

Today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary!

DotCottonsHairnet · 17/05/2013 09:28

Oh Sidge - not looking forward to my first one of those :(

Spurred on by this thread - just been and sorted my jewellery box out - rather more in there than I thought - its just when I decide to part with it all - perhaps in stages?

MirandaWest · 17/05/2013 10:33

Still need to do something with my engagement ring. Sold the wedding ring through a sell your gold online place but not sure what to do with the other one.

I found first wedding anniversary painful, second not so bad and the one this year will be OK I think.

Original poster

Noregrets78 · 17/05/2013 11:15

DotCottonsHairnet Is that all jewelry from him? If I were you I'd sell it in one go so you can afford something really lovely - a break somewhere? if you sell it in bits you might not really notice the bits of money coming in, and you would just spend it on 'stuff'. I'd use this of a way of making a memory. x

Oo get me with the advice when i'm so useless at sorting my own life out lols.

OP posts:

DotCottonsHairnet · 17/05/2013 12:10

Noregrets - yes all from him - I think you're right - all in one go then something nice for me :)

Sidge · 17/05/2013 12:16

DotCottonsHairnet thanks, it's a weird day. I'm trying to remember all the happy years, and there were so many. It's just the last few that were shit! And I have my 3 beautiful girls from him so it wasn't all wasted

LivingNightmare · 19/05/2013 10:40

I took mine off in front of him the day I threw him out for the last time. It was a few weeks ago and there is still a mark from the rings on my finger. A friend said I should start to rub in some bio oil! :-) I'm not sure anyone really has noticed though - I mean like work colleagues for example that don't know about my divorce yet.

If I had some money I would get some bling for my right hand instead!

Mosman · 19/05/2013 13:07

The next day, I shall be selling it to fund a day out with the kids.

ThereGoesTheYear · 19/05/2013 17:40

I took mine off about a year after we separated (the police removed my H too - can't have been an easy week for you - hope you're doing OK OP). I've been thinking about getting it melted down and made into something else.

Original poster

Noregrets78 · 19/05/2013 21:05

It's still off, and no-one's noticed... I'm not ready yet to sell it, but have hung it on a chain and will sell it as soon as I'm emotionally ready.

ThereGoesTheYear thanks I'm fine. Things have gone like a dream, now the unwanted phone calls have died down... and I've had a lovely peaceful weekend with DD. Not sure how long it will take me to relax and believe that this is the way it will stay.

I've liked this thread it's been really interesting, thanks all. x

OP posts:

sandiy · 28/05/2013 20:50

Took mine off when I left one job and started the next.I just could nt face explaining.I sold it for scrap I also had the band taken off my engagement ring and sold that I kept the diamond though not sure why.Ive got some lovely Gucci earrings that he bought me which I still wear and the value is in the brand The other bits I've not dealt with because they are lovely pieces I expect eventually I will give them to my daughters.i do fantasise about chucking them at other woman though you know grand gesture but the skinflint in me won t give her such valuable things. Chin up things get easier buy yourself some new knickers and perfume with the money when you sell them it will make you feel so naughty.

DotCottonsHairnet · 31/05/2013 10:17

I changed my mind - went out the other day with the intention of getting rid of it all - but I couldn't part with the 5 rings from him - just the necklaces/earrings/bracelets. Still there's another £100 in my bank account towards a holiday.

Guess those rings will sit in a box for a while longer till I can find the strength to part with them - silly I know but the oldest is over 25 years old now so its been part of my life for a long time.

Original poster

Noregrets78 · 01/06/2013 19:11

sandiy yep that's a good idea - new job, fresh start, not having to explain.
New undies excellent idea!

dotcotton Don't blame you, there's a lot of history in those rings. You can move on without pretending 25 years didn't happen. Mine are a mere 15 years old, but it's the entire of my adult life, I'll get rid of everything else but can't imagine selling the rings at the moment.

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