After divorce, how do you cope when ExH has the children?

[pixie54]

I worry about this so much. What do you do with yourself when they are away from you? Any ideas gratefully received!

• Give the dog an amazing walk to make up for the less amazing ones he gets when DD's around

*Do all the thorough cleaning I can't do when DD's around

*Strip beds and wash towels

Until this weekend she's spent both Saturday and Sunday with him on alternate weekends but not overnight. Now I know I'll have evenings and a lie in I want to make more of an effort to do the fun stuff I can't do when she's around, like going to the cinema or theatre.

I'm not very good at being in the house without her which is why I try to keep busy (and then I'm miffed when I get to the end of the weekend feeling like I haven't had a break!)

Sorry, meant to say as of this weekend she'll always be staying overnight .

Think of it as free babysitting. If you had a babysitter, what would you do with friends?

Sorry meant to also add that it's really important to have a break and do something for yourself.

To be honest the first two weekends I moped about feeling bereft.

Then I thought what the hell am I doing and decided to do all the stuff I can't do when they are here, so lie ins, lots of wine and films I love, going out with friends, shopping, long baths, sitting on sofa and reading uninterrupted, gym...

I try to do boring stuff that they don't want to do - and I can do quicker without them! So, chaging beds, cleaning the house, supermarket shopping, etc.

Then I either have a night out with friends or get a dvd to watch at home. I'm still getting used to it and have learned taht Friday night is the worst bit so to get very busy straight after they've gone - and spend Sunday getting ready for their return - dvd, order a pizza - or cookie dough ready to bake and decorate. Something we can all do together when they come home to get them nested!

Agree with you though pixie, they're hard times.

gym, coffee, friends, cinema on my own, meals out visit family.

this if YOUR fun time: get out, enjoy
if you dont feel like it, do it anyway
this is called getting yourself a new life and moving on....