What to take to first appointment with solicitor?

[bumbums]

Hi, I/we haven't decided to get divorced yet. But things are pretty desperate and before more time passes I'd like to know where I stand if dh and I were to divorce. Our dcs are 3 and 5. I'm a sahm.

I want to know how to set things up so that I can't be screwed over by dh should things turn nasty if we were to divorce.

When I pluck up the courage to seek legal advice, please could you tell me what paper work should I take to make my first appointment useful?

Gosh I could have written this post :( I'll be watching with interest- please come back and update if you make any progress and I will do the same (like you still plucking up courage for that first appointment, it's like just phoning up makes it actually real rather than a thought)

Hi Dapper I posted in Chat too and got a few replies. From what I have gathered divorce is even more messy, hurtfull and hard than I'd thought.

Am praying that if DH agreed to conselling we could some how come through this.

I've been moaning about dh for years but things have been worse in past 12 months. Haven't had sex since last April and we barely comunicate. Lots of bickering and he doesn't respect me.

My parents think he's depressed. Convincing dh that he could be will be near on impossible.

No idea how we get the love back. This is not what I signed up for.

Thanks for coming back and posting! Sounds tough. It's so hard even considering it isn't it? I feel like such a loser for just thinking about leaving him.

The thing that is putting me off is the heartache I can see coming too- and the impact our dcs (7 & 3, so quite similar to you). Dh is so intolerant of my perceived shortfalls and can be quite controlling but refuses to seek joint counselling as he thinks it's me that has a problem not us- but despite all this, on the surface we exist day to day in a civil almost loving way. I don't know if I can keep up the act much longer though! I am worn out if I'm honest and so unfulfilled I could cry (actually I do- can't listen to radio/music as even upbeat songs make me snivel if the have heartfelt words! Big old softy that I am)

Have you been married long?

Ditto all you've said re. intollerance of percieved shortfalls and the controlling thing to. Dh is a total control freak. He has so far refused to do counselling.

My friends say I am a shadow of my former self.

The annoying thing is that when I'm down I feel the need to abuse my body with junk food and alchohol. Not saying I'm binging or getting wrecked or anything. But I just want to comfort myself and bury my head.

DH mother has been in intensive care for the past 11 days. She's critical and dh has been with her every day. (his Dad passed away many years ago)
I feel like such a selfish bitch sitting her thinking about our shit marraige. Its not like he's beating me or anything. We've just drifted apart.