Please or to access all these features

Dementia and Alzheimer's

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Help, I can’t find the only trousers mum will wear

26 replies

greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 10:32

Thanks people for helpful replies about security for mum, a few threads ago!
Another query here. Mum will only wear one pair of trousers, which she bought in a charity shop years ago. They are Damart, the essential characteristic being they don’t have a wide or bulky waistband. I will try to attach a photo, taken on the only occasion I’ve managed to get them off her for washing.
i have brought so many trousers to her that I’ve lost count, and all have been rejected. Damart don’t seem to do these any more.
Mum is under 5ft now, slight build and not overweight but her tummy muscles have gone. Used to have an hourglass figure so still quite a big bottom though. Hates anything bulky round her middle. About a size 14. I am really quite desperate now to find something she will accept that she can change into. Any ideas of a reasonable alternative? Thanks in advance again!

Help, I can’t find the only trousers mum will wear
Help, I can’t find the only trousers mum will wear
OP posts:
CharmedCult · 28/12/2023 10:33

Have you looked on Vinted? Keep checking on there every few days.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 28/12/2023 10:34

What are they made of? Are they just pull on ones? Have you tried vinted and depopulation, ebay?

PermanentTemporary · 28/12/2023 10:34

I'd start with ebay 'damart trousers 14', see if anyone is selling a pair.

I get mum's trousers from Cotton Traders, John Lewis, m&s.

Take them to a dressmaker??

christmaspawpaws · 28/12/2023 10:35

Would these work?

www.damart.co.uk/pack-of-2-pull-on-trousers-27085-3.html

Peridot1 · 28/12/2023 10:40

Bon Marche do similar - they have some called comfort waist.

ShippingNews · 28/12/2023 10:42

Take them to a dressmaker and get some duplicates made ?

Pegsmum · 28/12/2023 10:47

My mum would only wear one pair of trousers too. When I managed to get them off her to wash (which wasn’t very often-probably once every 8 weeks!) she would wear a pair of jogging bottoms from Bon Marche. I had to get a dressmaker to cut off the elasticated ankle bit and put a hem on them. Like you I had bought lots of different pairs but she wouldn’t entertain them!

hellsBells246 · 28/12/2023 10:49

M&S do similar ones with an elastic waist, in various leg lengths.

AllAroundMyCat · 28/12/2023 11:05

Try Edinburgh Woollen Mill .

I get all my mum's trousers there and they do short lengths.

greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 11:12

PermanentTemporary · 28/12/2023 10:34

I'd start with ebay 'damart trousers 14', see if anyone is selling a pair.

I get mum's trousers from Cotton Traders, John Lewis, m&s.

Take them to a dressmaker??

I’ll try eBay and vinted thanks! Mum always bought her clothes in charity shops, so maybe …!

OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 11:13

hellsBells246 · 28/12/2023 10:49

M&S do similar ones with an elastic waist, in various leg lengths.

Ah, I’ve tried a few from M and S including a few I was sure she’d accept, but no. I’ll look again …

OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 11:15

Pegsmum · 28/12/2023 10:47

My mum would only wear one pair of trousers too. When I managed to get them off her to wash (which wasn’t very often-probably once every 8 weeks!) she would wear a pair of jogging bottoms from Bon Marche. I had to get a dressmaker to cut off the elasticated ankle bit and put a hem on them. Like you I had bought lots of different pairs but she wouldn’t entertain them!

You did well to get them off her every eight weeks. I managed to get mum’s only yesterday after four months and she was very cross. It was only because she has a hospital appointment today and I very discreetly suggested she might not want people to think she was a bit whiffy that I got anywhere.

OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 11:17

Howmanysleepsnow · 28/12/2023 10:42

Thank you. I think she wouid accept the wIstband but I tried a similar wide leg sort from M and S and she was scathing about them. Basically it’s like trying to replace a toddler’s security blanket …

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 28/12/2023 11:22

Apart from eBay and Vinted, have you looked at Tiktok shops? Might sound a bit crazy but I bought some similar trousers on there (they'd be too long for your mum as they're long on me at 5'7). They have the same waistband and are so ridiculously comfortable that I can understand why your mum refuses to take them off!

florentina1 · 28/12/2023 11:25

I am your mums age and size and I buy from Cotton Traders. They have a large range

greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 11:59

florentina1 · 28/12/2023 11:25

I am your mums age and size and I buy from Cotton Traders. They have a large range

Thank you, I know, I thought she would but I’ve bought a few from there that she’s outright rejected. I’ll look again though!

OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 12:01

Possibly, but they look a bit fitted? Mum doesn’t like wide leg pants but nor does she seem to like anything she can actually feel she’s wearing. Sigh. Thankyou.

OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 28/12/2023 16:49

Update - when I picked mum up this afternoon for her hospital appointment, she was wearing the trousers that she’d grumpily agreed to wear yesterday only while I washed, dried and rushed her usual pair back to her (husband delivered before dawn). Nothing at all was said! No mention of them being uncomfortable, looking ridiculous, where on earth did I manage to get such horrible trousers etc etc! And there was no sign of her precious normal pants!

OP posts:
PinkMimosa · 31/12/2023 20:25

Is your DM still equally happy with the replacement?

greenbeansnspinach · 31/12/2023 21:28

PinkMimosa · 31/12/2023 20:25

Is your DM still equally happy with the replacement?

It’s odd. She’s asked me a few times where her lovely old trousers are and have I washed them yet. Each time I reply that I washed dried and brought them back days ago. I show them where they are in her wardrobe. She is amazed and pleased. But has made no move to put them on and is still wearing the new pair. Soon I’ll be begging her to let me have them to wash! The new pair are much more suitable for winter - nice thick jogging pants.

OP posts:
Stressybetty · 01/01/2024 21:08

Lovall are good for petite length. Just got some stuff from there for mother in law. Currently having the usual battle on her having a shower, she tends to wear the same stuff for days, sleeping in it too. We're on day 9 now 🙈

greenbeansnspinach · 02/01/2024 17:03

Stressybetty · 01/01/2024 21:08

Lovall are good for petite length. Just got some stuff from there for mother in law. Currently having the usual battle on her having a shower, she tends to wear the same stuff for days, sleeping in it too. We're on day 9 now 🙈

Thanks for the tip and glad I’m not alone!

OP posts:
Stressybetty · 02/01/2024 18:06

greenbeansnspinach · 02/01/2024 17:03

Thanks for the tip and glad I’m not alone!

It's a nightmare isn't it!? Finally got her to shower and change today. I think I'm going to take some of her clothes away, she spends hours sorting through them in her bedroom here. Might be easier if she has fewer things that all go together. Ordered 3 pairs of joggers, 3 sweatshirts, 3 polo neck jumpers all in shades that work so with some of her existing stuff should make it simpler. That's in theory !