Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Dementia and Alzheimer's

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Care home threatening to give dad notice

9 replies

Meadow1203 · 09/04/2019 12:25

Can anyone offer any advice on this. Dad has been in a care home since last August and seems to have settled well. It took me ages to find a home that would accept his smoking. He is obsessed but they worked with him to cut down his smoking. He has been told not to smoke in his room but does now and again, he really does not have capacity to understand, no matter how many times we tell him. So last visit the manager said if he caught again then they will give notice. This is very upsetting. I realise the dangers but surely is is up to them to manage this? Do we have any rights?

OP posts:
GeePipe · 09/04/2019 12:28

Why on earth are they giving him the ciggies and lighters to keep in his room? When i worked in a home we kept them in the office and gave them out at certain times and accompanied the resident to the smoking room.

JaneEyre07 · 09/04/2019 12:32

I'm very shocked he has free access to them. When I worked in a home, we had a lady who smoked and she had to go and ask the Nursing staff for them. Talk about a safety hazard letting a dementia patient keep them in their room.

They are the ones in the wrong here, big time!

Frequency · 09/04/2019 12:35

I work in an independent living/extra care facility aimed towards people who are unable to live safely in their own home but who don't need around the clock nursing care. Each resident has their own flat (not room). Carers call in X times a day to make meals/check on welfare/administer medication. What residents do in their flat is their business as long as it doesn't prohibit the carers from working safely. They can smoke. We can ask them not to smoke while we are in there but your dad could also request carers who do not mind him smoking when they are there.

Would somewhere like that be better for him?

Original poster
Meadow1203 · 09/04/2019 12:40

Thanks for the replies. They do keep his lighter and ciggies in the office but he can be very sneaky. He presents well but his dementia will not allow independent living, not capable of managing finances, would not eat, has memory of about 5 minutes. freq he was in a place like that before but would just go out so carers never saw him. I don't know what to do. He is adamant that he does not smoke in his room.

OP posts:
NWQM · 09/04/2019 13:06

If you haven't already I'd be getting some advise from somewhere like

www.ageuk.org.uk/services/age-uk-advice-line

I'd also be calling social services and asking for a meeting with the home. You need to explore if all avenues for supporting your Dad have been explored. I'd say it would be pretty easy to stop him in his room as he can be given one cigarette lite by a care worker so they can't have been trying everything but.....assuming they have then the 'what next / where next ' needs answering. And that's a collective problem with social services.

Check CQC reports on line. Use any statements in the care home brochure about being 'home from home' etc.

Also bring up the undue stress that such a move would be to someone with dementia.

All that being said we were glad we moved my Mum. Different problem but to be honest I suspect that the cause was the same.....my beautiful Mum was too much 'like hard work.' They probalay are understaffed and someone wanting a cig break - especially someone who is forgetting they have just had one - is difficult. Lots of places suggest that they specialise in dementia but doesn't mean they are actually training their staff and are good at it. The difference when you find somewhere that is is wonderful.

maiidment · 10/04/2019 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

wigglypiggly · 10/04/2019 19:24

I would ask for a capacity assessment, if he understands the risks and it's a no smoking home then it's against the contract be signed to smoke inside. If he lacks capacity the home should do a risk assessment, lock his cigs and lighter away and they come up with a plan that he is only able to smoke if he is with visitors or staff but that's not always going to be their priority. Why are people buying him cigarettes if hes not safe.

wigglypiggly · 10/04/2019 19:28

I dont think the home would want someone smoking in their room, it's a major event for them if a smoke alarm goes off, it affects the staff, residents, visitors and can cost a fortune in cleaning a room when a resident ,leaves.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page