I need a good woman in my life but some advice needed

[Ravenseed]

Hey guys and gals...I really need your help, even though I don't know you ha.. but seriously....

In a nutshell I want to get chatting with some women online. However it is not as easy as I thought and I've struggled with this for too long now. I've never chatted with anyone or looked for dates online before, well not successfully anyway. However I am only now actually really putting some real effort in to it :) I'm not against it obviously I just cant seem to find the right site or whatever. It seems every site that I look at ends up wanting money or is full of fake people. In fact Mumsnet seems to be the most ideal site I found, except it is aimed at women. Is there a male version, or is this the best place to chat to girls, about relationships and make friends? If you think this post is better in another section where I will get a better responses then please let me know.

Please don't send me to a dating site....I hate them, at least the ones I looked at where you have to fill in endless paragraphs about yourself which is difficult and always ends up reading like it is about someone else. I just want to talk to women and hope something happens naturally. But I am open to all suggestions.

I am 35, have a 9 year old daughter. She doesn't live with me but we have a perfect relationship and she stays here 2 or 3 days a week. I live on my own in my own house, I am in Northamptonshire, I have a good job I love and I also work at home (the main reason I have struggled meeting someone I think..at least it was never a problem before). I am an outgoing lad who is sociable, kind, reliable, independent and apparently quite funny.. I am a bit of a joker and do enjoy not being serious all of the time (but this is a serious post /serious face). I would honestly consider myself a good catch and wonder how the hell I have been single for so long. (I hope that doesn't sound arrogant). To be honest I have been single for over 6 years now, which is OK, I am cool, it really has been a good time and I do love it...but it would be even better with a gf now..

I have a really good circle of friends and a lot of them have gf's who always try to set me up but for some reason I never accept. There is a ton of stuff I want to casually chat about from travelling, music, points of view, sex, relationships, experiences and whatever you want to talk about.

Anyway at this moment I just want to chat with girls and see if I click with anyone, or even just make some friends..its all good...I'm easy going and will take my time :) I am looking for some good conversations where it is a 2 way street, I am a good listener also, and I have a fair bit of life experience...for my age to reflect on..... so please get in touch, you have nothing to lose...

Wow I just realized this post is huge.....sorry

Mumsnet isn't a dating site.

Oh and I have reported your post.

"get in touch you have nothing to lose" Seriously, catch yerself on.

Op, I doubt you'll meet people through mumsnet. Working from home canbe really isolating. What about starting a new hobby that involves meeting others? Or maybe volunteering for a charity that you care for?

Meetup.com is a good place to meet up with a group of people with similar interests to yourself.

I think a first step could be accepting the offers people have made already to set you up on some dates.

Next would be to do something that gets you out and meeting people.

I need a good woman conjures up someone in a pinny and her hands in the sink smiling fondly as her DH comes in from work.

Anyway, go swimming, bird watching, join a running group, art classes, cookery classes etc

Easier to talk to someone about what you are doing or hoping to learn or achieve than just chatting on a date, imo. And it is a friendship over a shared interest not a date, much more relaxed.

you've reported me...really, get a life. It's a harmless post, if you read something into it that I didn't intend that's your problem

"is this the best place to chat to girlsabout relationships and make friends?"

"I just want to chat with girls"

You want to chat to girls - female children? The same age as your DD? Or a bit older?

I think the OP has just got the wrong end of the shock, no need to eat him alive.

OP you really do need to get yourself on a dating site. I met my ex and my DP on Plenty of Fish (which is one if the free sites that gets slagged off on here), so you can meet people without spending money.

You really do need to get yourself out there. There are meet-up sites as well where loads of people go out to dinner or socialise through shared interests.

What you can't do is rock up on a female orientated family message board and think you can start shooting fish in a barrel. It tends to get people's backs up on here.

*stick

This is not the place to try to pick up women. Someone upthread suggested Meetup.com, which I echo. Join up, they do different activities, one of which is sure to be your thing. It's not a guarantee you'll meet somebody who wants to be with you, but you'll at least make new friends.

You're telling ME to get a life?? One of us is stalking mumsnet to get women to contact them, and one of us managed to get a date yesterday in real life.

Now, which one of us has the problem again?

PS If you called me a girl in real life I'd have you balls for earrings.

On the premise that I may have been harsh (the point of my post still stands - THIS IS NOT A DATING SITE and for someone who doesn't do online dating your first post read like a dating ad)

You are being introduced to girls by friends. Why don't you go on dates with them?

What's wrong with online dating? I used to belong to an online forum (not dating, but people met off the back of it) and it was great for expanding your social circle and with a bit of wit you could weed the nohopers out before you wasted any time.

There's a dating thread on here. Join that.

But my basic point remains. This isn't a dating site and calling the women on here girls and telling them to get in touch they have nothing to lose just seems creepy to me.

35 year old lad - nah, will pass thanks! Try being a 35 year old man. That will help you immensely.

Guys and gals......I would drop the Jimmy Saville approach immediately.

People meet their special someone in many different ways op. I don't think you've done anything wrong in posting here but I see you've already been 'flamed'

I refer to my friends as 'the girls' and don't see a problem with it. Lots on here do though - it's a very mixed demographic here!

Don't rule out dating sites - lots of my friends have had real success and your op is warm and friendly so I think you'd have a good starting point.

At least on a dating site you're putting yourself out there to people who are in the same position - looking for someone. Rather than randomly posting on a mixed agenda forum.

That said - someone on here might see this and tell a friend (although that's another problem - most of us are 'secret mumsnetters who don't want to be outed!).

Good luck op, everyone deserves to meet someone nice :-)

*although the 'guys and gals' does make you sound like a game show host ;-)

Definitely Madrigals.

"I'm going to see the lads tonight'" or "I'm going to see the girls tonight"

Both normal expressions to me and many other people.

You are a very brave man. What's wrong with dating sites? Tbh im only here for the deletion message but the op sounds nice enough. Cut him some slack poor guy.

I bet this has been an education, Ravenseed.

No, it isn't a place to come to make 'romantic attachments', but at least you sound decent and are trying to put yourself out there so best of luck with that.

Get on a dating site, meet friends for a pub quiz and get them to bring single friends, join a book club, or cinema club or something.

Good luck.