Johnny Depp is on R4 at 4.30 today

[Yummers]

talking about sweeney todd.

i know you can't see him 'n all with it being radio, but maybe hearing his yummy voice will be enough...?

no-one else cares? then he shall be mine, all mine by the medium of the airwaves....mwa ha haa

I'll fight ya for him Yummers!

pistols at dawn it is then...

Scissors better, I would have thought....!

sorry to disappoint but i nabbed him years ago. im his secret consort. whenever hes in the country we shag like rabbits. is all true. im afraid there simply isnt time free in his calendar for any of you.

or a cuthroat razor, even...

No, no. Think you'll find yours is an imposter cos he's currently chained up in my wardrobe...

and how, prey tell is he going to get to the beeb in time for R4, if the one in your wardrobe is the real deal? dear oh dear, youve been taken in by johnny depps evil twin

(is it me or does JDs evil twin sound like someone youd Like To Meet?)

Damn u Snappy, you've discovered the truth...

AHEM

Those of you laying claim to him, tell him to make sure he's back home by 6 30 because I will have his supper on the table

Oh no, don't feed him. He gets really out of hand if u give him food after 2.30pm.

... Hmmm, that sounds nice actually...