Wrote short poem for person from my past. Can't share in RL.

[Carouselfish]

This is for Josh. He won't ever see it. Bit sad this evening, so posting it here.

A long time since I have spoken
Any word to you, or written any down.
I've sought you out in dreams
and often found and held you -
reunited.
Though other times you've turned away.

Grief at dawn in any case.

Could I tell you, dream or not,
How you pull my heart behind you?
A child's toy, unseen
Bashing walls, fallen sideways
wheels stopped...
but oh,
The thread forever in your hands.

Bit of background

We met 21 years ago in Romantic Poetry at university (of course), had a very tumultuous relationship, very passionate, very fierce. After we had broken up for about the millionth time, it had been a few years, I'd moved abroad, he'd moved to the same place, we were both in new relationships. And then I had a dream that he was getting married - I was devastated as had always thought one day we'd be back together - it was an extremely emotional dream. And I woke up, went on social media and found it was true. A few months prior I found I was pregnant, so had no right to be so upset. But...twenty years on, once every three months or so, he's in my dreams, unlooked for, he's just there. Doubt it will ever go away.

I feel we all might have a Josh...I certainly do. Different circumstances...a Romeo and Juliet type situation for me, broke up due to religion basically, I put my family before true love. This was 14 years ago but I still have those dreams and thoughts too. Never had the same again with anyone.

Ouch... That's really lovely.

I felt that. Beautiful.

Lovely words, I actually thought it was about a lost child. Lovely poem.

That's a beautiful poem and I resonated with that too.
I too had a "josh" in my past. 12 years now since I've seen him. I'm married with children but he occasionally still enters my thoughts and dreams. We had a very passionate time for many years on and off but it ended so badly. Part of me wonders what would happen if I saw him again because we just needed to look at each other and we'd smile and end up in bed. Regardless of what had happened. That song, Laid, by James was pretty accurate for us 🤣.

Was a bit scared to check back as posted late at night and had posting regret but you've all been really nice so thank you!

That’s sad. Do you know what he’s doing now?

I love the analogy of a child's toy pulled behind him, it's very vivid.

Lost loves and loves that never were are always sad. But any trauma makes good fodder for creative writing I find. So always something positive to take.

That's what me and dd tell ourselves anyway.

Haven't looked at social media in a good few years, so no. But he had a girlfriend a good few years ago. He lives in a different part of the UK. I moved away simply to end things.

That child's toy analogy is brilliant.

We all have a Josh. I was wondering about mine just the other day.

I loved your poem.

Actually, this will sound daft but you could set it to music and have a hit single.

Josh, one disappointing encounter short of mortality.