Anyone fancy critiquing my first chapter

[Foreverinjeans]

Eek.
I'm writing a book. It's not quite a crime, more real life drama. Chance encounter changing two lives.

Would anyone fancy critiquing the first chapter? I have re-written so many times.
The main body and ending are fine. If so I'll send on a PM. I can take criticism...

Thanks

Thanks. Have pm'd to those who requested. Be as brutal as you like. I'm struggling to get it right

Yes I will too

Haven't had it OP?

I have pinged it now Held. Thank you :)

Hi OP. I requested a copy as I would be very happy that read and respond, but haven’t received pm.

I'd love to have a read please

Happy to help if you need anyone else