Any Volunteers to read my rhyming story?

[dontthinktwiceitsalright]

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in giving me a critique of my rhyming story. I've been editing it for a while now but really need some fresh eyes to look at it. It's only 600 words and for the 4-8 age group.

Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

If anybody fancies it just PM me with your email address and I can send it over.

I'll have a look. :) I'm a published writer.

Oh thank you !

It honestly could be terrible but I guess this is the only way to find out

Absolutely...I'm won't be mean...I'll be helpful hopefully.x

I can have a look too if you would like?

I'll have a look. I teach that age group

Oh gosh thank you all ! I've changed a bit so I'll just double check its all in one piece

I am happy to help

Thank you all , just give me a pm with your email addresses

Just checking what format it will be in

Pdf ok ? If not I can ask dh to change it for me.

I'd love to have a look if you still need some feedback, my mum teaches that age group and I'm a journalist (read: was a journalist before I had kiddies!) :)

Ooh I'd love to read it!

Yes please!! I'm depute of a Primary school and I have a toddler, he adores rhyming stories.

I'll have a look. I'm a copy editor and ex-newspaper sub.

Thank you everyone :) I think I've sent it to everyone who sent me an email
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