So skint I'm scared

[Skintandscared24]

Just that really. I'm £600 overdrawn, I have 2 weeks worth of food shopping for a family of 4 to get, plus a £200 payment for my gas and electric for the month so will be about £1100 overdrawn by the time my next wages and child benefit come in. Which will take me to only £300 in the black. And so the cycle will continue.

I've turned the heating off so it doesn't click on and off like previous years, am working an hour each way to work to save on the bus fair. I've cancelled our pet insurance and hope to hell our 17 year old car doesn't get sick. I've even put off getting new glasses as I cannot afford them despite raging headaches.

Can't ask husband for money, he was made redundant recently. Whilst he got an ok payment he needs to pay essentials only such as mortgage, council tax, water, life insurance his phone and then keep the rest to tide him over until he's back in work.

I'm feeling sick with worry. I don't know what to do. Work can't offer me any more hours. I'm looking at evening and weekend work to supplement my income but not getting anywhere at the moment.

Just having a moan really and offloading as an anon post to people who hopefully understand

To last on what? I hope he's not out spending while you're economising like mad. Why do you think you deserve to suffer but he doesn't?

Not at all.

Heavens, this is shocking. Your husband needs to get a job. Does he know how much you are struggling?

The stupid thing is, with his qualification he could £500 a day on a 2 month temping job 😭 but he doesn't want temporary job

To last him to do WHAT with until hes,back at work?

That money isn't HIS money

It's family money

You do understand that ?

It's there to pay for family items such as food, gas, electricity etc

So why are you letting this happen? You need to tell him!

Pool all your money, make a budget and workout exactly where you are and how to move forward together ie how many months essential bills can you cover together. Are you claiming benefits you both may be entitled to? You could both try doing some bank switches that can make a few hundred could clear your overdraft. It makes no sense for you to use an overdraft with 40% interest rate if DH has money sitting in the bank. Can he take a temporary job eg delivery driving in evenings whilst looking for a job?

Contact your mortgage lender and ask for a mortgage holiday.

Same with gas, electric, utilities. Call and ask what can be done. Just be upfront about your situation.

Your DH needs to take any job going whilst he looks for something in the longer term. Why can he not do both of those things.

Your DH also needs to plug any gaps now with the redundancy money. Does he perceive that the money is "his"?

Yeah that is really stupid. I really hope you can convince him to swallow his pride or whatever it is and just get a job and also to recognise that his redundancy payout is family money and not his money to sit on.

Unfortunately the answer to your problem is your husband.

Yep you have a dh problem

Your husband is very selfish. I'm sorry.

I'm going to try and talk about it again tomorrow when I'm home from work. I can't face it this evening incase it causes an argument, especially when I need to be up at half 5 to leave at 6 for work tomorrow 😣

It sounds immature but I might have to get his mum on my side and tell her just how selfish he is being. She's won't like how he's behaving

Jesus Christ.

Just tell him you have no money to pay for food, electricity or gas. Your overdraft is not an option. He needs to help out.

He needs to do any job, tell him the truth and he needs to swallow any pride. Before I knew DH he had a couple of months between jobs and he worked on a production line in a factory that made jars of cooking sauce. The guy has a doctorate but knew he needed to roll up his sleeves.

Yep! Get your DH to work!

If DH is paying the mortgage and was made redundant isn't that the point of mortgage protection insurance?

We have lift insurance not mortgage protection insurance

You’re suffering because you’re avoiding an argument with him?
Stop taking all the responsibility for the situation.
Stand up to your self-indulgent husband. FGS it’s ridiculous.

You both need to be doing all you can at the moment. It's completely wasting money to pay interest on an overdraft while there's a pot of money sitting in another account. He doesn't have the luxury of waiting for the 'right' job. Not his fault he was made redundant but he'll feel better when he's contributing again.

Seriously. Pull your big girl pants up and stop being a martyr.

His family can't afford to eat. And he wants to sit about until he finds the right job for him. And you want to enable that because he'll feel guilty?? No. He gets a job. Any job. And does that whilst applying for his long term preferred jobs.

Don't drag his mother in to it. Have an adult conversation where you spell out how much you owe and how much you need. He can't help if he doesn't know the situation you're in.
It's not your job to protect him.

Needs must

Please talk to him about your family finances. This is his burden as much as yours.

Stop buying food, except for the kids and you (which you could eat out the house if needed). Tell him that if he wants to eat he needs to start contributing and get a job. He needs to swallow his pride.

Do you use a computer at work? If so your employer should pay for you to have an eye test. Could you then get an off the shelf pair to tide you over? Although frankly I'd be telling him that keeping the one bloody bread winner well enough to work needs to be a priority so he needs to stump up for the cost.

I hope he's doing all the housework and cooking whilst he's choosing to stay at home.