So skint I'm scared

[Skintandscared24]

Just that really. I'm £600 overdrawn, I have 2 weeks worth of food shopping for a family of 4 to get, plus a £200 payment for my gas and electric for the month so will be about £1100 overdrawn by the time my next wages and child benefit come in. Which will take me to only £300 in the black. And so the cycle will continue.

I've turned the heating off so it doesn't click on and off like previous years, am working an hour each way to work to save on the bus fair. I've cancelled our pet insurance and hope to hell our 17 year old car doesn't get sick. I've even put off getting new glasses as I cannot afford them despite raging headaches.

Can't ask husband for money, he was made redundant recently. Whilst he got an ok payment he needs to pay essentials only such as mortgage, council tax, water, life insurance his phone and then keep the rest to tide him over until he's back in work.

I'm feeling sick with worry. I don't know what to do. Work can't offer me any more hours. I'm looking at evening and weekend work to supplement my income but not getting anywhere at the moment.

Just having a moan really and offloading as an anon post to people who hopefully understand

It really doesn't sound like you have the luxury of being able to afford him being picky about what he does. The hospitality industry is crying out for staff, he should be able to get something to tide you over relatively easily, and that won't stop him looking for jobs in his field.

FFS, that is utterly ridiculous. Doing a temporary job might well help him into a permanent one.

He's just going to have to take any old job isn't he and he will have to contribute as you can't keep getting yourself into debt because he has been made redundant.

This is odd, surely all money is for both of you and your life together, why is it so separate? If there are money issues, he should get a job

What planet are you on?

A redundancy payment is in lieu of wages, he has wages sat there, and he should be using it to the same effect his wages were , not sitting on it whilst waiting for the perfect job to fall in his lap

A marriage IS a partnership. You bring your worldly goods to the table and they are joint. 35 years Ive been married, theres been times Ive been the high earner, lot longer times when health has stopped me earning at all and now I only manage part time,. Does my husband sit on his wages and say "nope, its mine, the gas bill is up to you to pay so you find the money?" Nope. first things first - BILLS and FOOD paid, then we get our own money, even if Im taking from his earnings or in the past he was taking from mine.

If I couldnt be paying the food bill, or any of the bills that I pay, my husband steps up and I do the same in return. They arent mine or his bills, they are OURS , jointly responsible , regardless as to whose account they are paid from

Your husband needs to get over himself, followed by a kick up the arse to get a job.

He's incredibly selfish as he prefers to see his wife suffer rather than just get a temp job to tide him over until he can get a job he wants. It will be Xmas soon I suppose he'd see his kids get no visit from Santa too. You need to tell him to put his pride away and muck in to buy his kids food.

This is crazy, you’re suffering because husband waiting for perfect job, madness, I couldn’t respect a man like that

Your husband needs to get off his arse and get a job.

Let’s hope the lift insurance gets him off his arse and into temp work. What is wrong with him?

Well then he needs to do something about it, not just pile more pressure on you.

He doesn't have the luxury of waiting for a job he wants. He needs to take any job to keep you going.

He's an utter arsehole then. He doesn't have that luxury. Kick him the fuck out to work!! It might lead to something permanent and it looks so much better to a prospective employer too. Dear god, WTF is wrong with him!

Your DH is sitting on redundancy payment whilst you're running up your overdraft is nuts!
You working 2 jobs whilst he's sitting at home is even more nuts!
You need to pool your income and he needs to face reality
He can still take the short term role and look for other jobs

He needs a good kick up the arse and OP won't do it.

Yes, tell him he either applies for universal credit or gets a temping job tomorrow.

Tide him over? What, you mean he sees his family as a separate entity?
He shouldn't have any spare / savings money if the family are in debt.

Family bills are his bills too.
Tell him how much all the bills come to and he needs to pay up. He can't say oh I'm not earning! He sounds ss like a shit lodger to me and verging into fuckwit territory.

Assume he's doing all the housework, washing and ironing and cooking whilst he is waiting for the perfect job? Any job is fine.

You do not get single person council tax discount just because one is out of work.

He needs several!!! I would be so angry but unfortunately the OP seems very passive!! This is so unreasonable of him that I can't credit it at all! He could turn in £2500 a week gross yet he won't - he's just dumping you in it @Skintandscared24! Do not let him - this is his problem not yours!

And I would be trying to reinstate the cat insurance. At that age, it's likely that your kitty will need it at some point and you won't be able to insure her again.

But not enough to take a job that pays money

My father did this. Spent 6 months doing it until my mother read him the riot act and he worked as a postman for a year until he got back into his industry. It was very very niche (director level too) but he had expected to simply walk into another job.

Then he did get offered a position as director but like I say, it took 18 months. The bills didnt pay themselves in that time!

As it was, it was a very good lesson in humility, he thought rather too much of himself before that and was no longer the arrogant arsehole he had become (worked up to director from the shop floor over 40 years, but he forgot his roots).

Put the numbers down in front and explain that this the reality and that he needs to work at ANYTHING right now. The fact that my father had done that actually went in his favour because the people who offered him his new job said that he got it because he had shown that he was willing to get his hands dirty. It was in a company that, he later found out, the CEO had started himself. Pretty much the same backgroud as my father and had little time for people who saw manual work as below them.

UC is reduced by £1 for every £250 over £6000 worth of savings, do you know much he has sitting in the bank, OP?
And if not, you need to find out.
The problem with men like this is that their sense of entitlement effectively traps their wives.
OP is not being a martyr, she is married to a man who is quite happy for her to drive herself into an early grave.
If I were you, OP, I would do as others have said and stop walking to work. I wouldn't take on a second job if I had a husband was idling around the house all day. Tell him to leave the house at 8.30am and not return until 5.30pm. That should focus his mind-he can sit in a library and apply for jobs. And keep your heating costs down.

Ditto this for DH too. He needs to take a Christmas job whilst looking for something more permanent

If he can earn £500 a day doing temp work then that is absolutely what he must do!

Could you do social/market research interviewing from home? I know one place that offers London living wage wherever you are. They do offer evening and weekend shifts. It's not a salaried job so you pick your shifts each week. You can just Google home based research interviewing jobs. Might be worth having a look if it's something you could fit around your other work. I'll pm you about the one my mate works for if you like.

A friend of mine - her husband lost his job but he was very picky and choosy about which jobs he would take . Friend was freelance and took another job (any job) to pay the bills . Readers she is remarried now. She got fed up with him not contributing