So skint I'm scared

[Skintandscared24]

Just that really. I'm £600 overdrawn, I have 2 weeks worth of food shopping for a family of 4 to get, plus a £200 payment for my gas and electric for the month so will be about £1100 overdrawn by the time my next wages and child benefit come in. Which will take me to only £300 in the black. And so the cycle will continue.

I've turned the heating off so it doesn't click on and off like previous years, am working an hour each way to work to save on the bus fair. I've cancelled our pet insurance and hope to hell our 17 year old car doesn't get sick. I've even put off getting new glasses as I cannot afford them despite raging headaches.

Can't ask husband for money, he was made redundant recently. Whilst he got an ok payment he needs to pay essentials only such as mortgage, council tax, water, life insurance his phone and then keep the rest to tide him over until he's back in work.

I'm feeling sick with worry. I don't know what to do. Work can't offer me any more hours. I'm looking at evening and weekend work to supplement my income but not getting anywhere at the moment.

Just having a moan really and offloading as an anon post to people who hopefully understand

You should find it easy to pick up a retail job. There's always vacancies somewhere and Sep is the month they hire for the Xmas period. Try a supermarket as then you'll get discount on your food shop too.

I’m not sure I understand why you can’t ask your husband for money, surely food, electric and gas are essentials? Is he looking for another job?

He is. But he doesn't want to take just anything, he's looking for something he's qualified in.

I keep telling him any job is good and to then keep applying for what he's qualified in.

You need to use your husband’s money instead of your overdraft. They are 40% interest, aren’t they?

He needs to just take anything like you say and then keep applying for what he’s qualified in. Why is it ok for you to be looking for extra work while he does nothing? That makes no sense at all.

During tough times like this all money should be pooled in my opinion. No way should you be suffering with headaches while your husband is sitting on redundancy money. You're supposed to be a team. Is he reasonable? Does he know you're struggling?

@Skintandscared24 this is not just your problem! Your dh needs to help pay those bills too! It’s pointless you going into overdraft when there is actually money there! Also you have a dh problem if he is being picky about jobs!

So you can work 2 jobs - that's fine. And walk to work for an hour - that's fine. But he can't get a job, any job? I'd question how much of a partner I really had if he was prepared to let me worry sick over something he could help US with. Is he always a selfish prick?

I think given your current circumstances your husband needs to do as you suggest, take any job as interim until he finds something he’s qualified for. It would take the pressure off immediately and hopefully wouldn't be for long. Even if he worked part-time so he has the rest of the time committed to job applications and interviews would be a huge help. He can't afford to wait for the ‘right’ job, he just needs any job so that you don't fall further into debt.

He needs to take ANY job he can find whilst he searches for something he’s ‘qualified in’. You’re walking 2 hours a day and having headaches while he’s not working? That’s not fair and I think you can see that. Why don’t you pool your money?

You’re a team so just all use your husbands money until he has a job & you can all get back on your feet then.

He does to an extent but I haven't told him how much, he feels guilty about losing his job and putting us in this situation

You have a DH problem not a cash flow problem.

My husband would be mortified if i didn’t ask for help and suffered like you.

Be honest, he can do any job to put food on the table whilst he searches.

Can your husband sign up for a temping agency while job hunting?

You need something coming in.

Agree with PP that you need to be working together. Look at everything you have available and what needs paying.

I understand your husband wants the right proper job but I can't see how doing shifts of anything on a temporary basis would hinder that.

He would probably feel less guilty if he was pulling his weight.

Whilst he got an ok payment he needs to pay essentials only such as mortgage, council tax, water, life insurance his phone and then keep the rest to tide him over until he's back in work

What do you mean by "keep the rest to tide him over"? Surely keeping the family in food takes priority to him keeping a lump sum to himself?

So if he’s at home all day why is he not doing be the food shopping (and paying for it!!)

Can you take a mortgage holiday.

You need to have an honest conversation about finances with him.

Go through all your monthly incomings and out goings and see what you can get rid off. Including any TV packages.

And he needs to get a job any job he hasn't got the luxury of looking for the right job right now, he needs an income. He needs to start looking after his family and take some the financial worries from you.

To last until he gets a job he's qualified for. He doesn't want to get any old job

He should feel guilty. Not about losing his job but about sitting on his arse being picky about his next job while you're walking to work and suffering from headaches.

You can't not fully confront the situation for fear of making him feel bad. I mean, you're losing sleep and feeling sick over it, so why is that ok, but not him feeling the burden of it too? It's not his fault he lost his job but like it or not, it's hugely impacted your finances and everyone needs to pull together and try and manage things as best you can. That includes him swallowing his pride and just taking any job that will sufficiently take the pressure off. It won't negatively impact his job search if he stays motivated.

Splitting the bills/food unevenly like that is your problem.

Everything joint comes out of our joint account and we can both see it.

He ca appt for jobs he's qualified to do - but in the meantime he needs to be working in any old job just to bring money in.

Or be doing agency work.

He can resign once he gets a job he prefers.

This is madness. Your husband is sitting on cash while you go overdrawn and will only get a job he is qualified for while you look for a second job. Sit the man down, have a chat and spell it out for him. His redundancy pay is needed now and he has to get any job to keep you afloat.

@Skintandscared24 are you happy do him to sit on the money while you struggle???