I just want to hide away for 6 months - but that's not possible

[Thefroglover]

We need to save money for something specific coming up Jan 2023 and we have debts which we really just want gone now.. I would happily sit at home for the next 6 months and do nothing unless it's things for/with the DC. No going ''out out'' with my friends and instead only going to friends houses with a cheap bottle of wine and then walk home or get a lift to avoid cab fares. But that just isn't doable. I cannot say to friends that I will not be going 'out out' for 6 months so do not invite me and then in 6 months time expect to reappear on the social scene again. I have several friends who rely on me to go out with them and socialise. These are single friends for whom socialising is really important to them.

We are not in financial difficultly so that is not an excuse to not go out out for 6 months. We just want these debts gone. We were fortunate to work through lockdown and save £4k, the only time we have managed to save. I need to save that again but twice over.

You can absolutely say we don’t have the money at the moment so will be cutting back and socialising at home, followed by would you like to come to mine on Saturday for drinks?

If you are in debt then you don’t have the money. In October your energy bills will be going up 50%. Lots of people are cutting back.

Tell your friends

You are in financial difficulties if you have debts that you need to pay. Also, friends that would ditch you because you can't go out for 6 months are not friends worth keeping.

Your friends might also be feeling the pinch - especially if they are single and covering all their bills alone.

Why not just mention you need to cut back a little and invite them to yours for a meal (not an OTT meal either). Hopefully they will then return the favour and start a new routine.

Of course you can tell your friends that you can't afford to go out out atm! As long as they still get to see you and a cheap bottle of wine and night in sounds perfect

I would definitely tell friends. You need to prioritise getting your debts in order and yes it’s a bit dull but it’s important to be financially secure.

is it possible your friends may also have debts to clear and you could help keep each other on the straight and narrow?

Depending on where you live, can you keep an eye out for free tickets to events or organise theme nights? Movie night, beer and pizza, poker night for coppers, cards against humanity etc?

Can you not do things with friends that don’t cost money? I rarely go out to eat or drink but I meet up with friends for a walk and/or a picnic. Also used to take it turns to host a dinner party (doesn’t have to cost a fortune). I probably go ‘Out out’ twice a year 😬.

Invite them for popcorn and a film. Cheap alternative to cinema visit.

What the others said. We are prioritising Jan so we are cutting back on treats atm
So we can't come out for an Indian but you can come to ours and each bring one part of the meal type thing

wha do you do when you go out? Pub, restaurant, club, cinema? Do it at home. Invite your friends.

*What

It is possible.

You can do cheap things like invite them round & watch a movie together for less than the transport costs of a night out.

Tell them you have to do this for 6 months for financial reasons & they might even be a support to you in getting through it - if they actually are friends.