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Original poster

Covid, Christmas, elderly relatives

54 replies

oxblood · 19/12/2023 18:17

I know that there is no longer supposed to be any differentiation between Covid and other viruses, coughs, colds etc. But I'm interested to know what you would do in this scenario.
Friend has just today tested positive. I saw her socially on Sat and Sunday. Spent 2 hours in a car both days travelling to an event.
We are hosting Christmas Day, relatives who are older and somewhat vulnerable in various ways. We are also planning to have an elderly relative over on Xmas Eve who is definitely vulnerable.
Would you tell them and let them make their own decision, even if we feel well and have no symptoms?
Or keep quiet and just have them over as long as we are all feeling fit and well, just as we would with any other illness?
Any thoughts gratefully received because I really don't know what to do for the best!

OP posts:
Choux · 19/12/2023 18:20

You have several days to see if you become unwell and test to see if it's Covid. If you don't become unwell then what is there to tell?

If you do become unwell you should tell them what it is and give them the option to come as planned or not to visit. They might be quite sanguine about it.

HelpINeedSomebodyToTakeThisAway · 19/12/2023 18:21

You have to let them know and let them make their minds up. It would be unforgivable not to.

We’ve just had it, it’s been brutal, and more people are being hospitalised with it as they are getting more poorly. I can’t believe people who care about their elderly, vulnerable relatives would consider not telling them tbh.

NAndJSaysVoteConservative · 19/12/2023 18:39

Please isolate OP, and reschedule a gathering with your family for the New Year.

JN.1 is the fastest spreading Variant to date.

Vinrouge4 · 19/12/2023 19:29

I think you would be showing signs by now. This latest strain has a short incubation period. Around 48 hours. Unless you test positive before they come I think you will be fine.

Hatty65 · 19/12/2023 19:31

Please tell them. I'm not 'elderly' but I'm vulnerable with various health issues and I do not want Covid for Christmas.

Personally I'd probably skip the day with you, rather than take the chance of catching Covid. I had it in 2020 and still have long standing health problems from it. The last thing I want is another variant of it. I'd be furious if you didn't feel the need to let me know and I was then ill.

samenewold · 19/12/2023 19:33

just tell them and let them make their own mind up

RoseAndRose · 19/12/2023 19:36

Tell them and then they have the information on which they can make their own health decisions.

It's really unfair to do otherwise

WhatTheFuk · 19/12/2023 19:46

You will probably know by then whether you are unwell or not. However, covid is most certainly not like any other winter virus. I'm reading this quite often on here and people really have no idea what they're dealing with.

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:00

@NAndJSaysVoteConservative why would Op isolate if they don’t even have it

NAndJSaysVoteConservative · 19/12/2023 20:02

@healthadvice123 Because she has been in close contact with someone who has tested positive - it's common sense.

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:02

I would tell them and give them the option , many don’t care but a few do
my nan is 90 and she would just say she would come but others may not want to. Many people are not even testing it seemz from speaking to people and only avoiding people when actually feeling ill, I think we are all being exposed to it constantly at this time of year anyway

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:03

@NAndJSaysVoteConservative and how long should they isolate for, there are no rules on isolating if you have been in close contact,

Potentialmadcatlady · 19/12/2023 20:04

I’m CEV… I would prefer if you told me and let me make my own mind up and would think the world of you for doing so ( when so many people don’t now). I would also make sure you had some tests so you could check closer to the day if you needed/asked for any.

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:05

@NAndJSaysVoteConservative there is no rules on even testing so many would not even know they have been in close contact and you could be isolating every other week if you were to isolate every time there is a case in. Your office or school etc thats just not practical now

NAndJSaysVoteConservative · 19/12/2023 20:20

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:03

@NAndJSaysVoteConservative and how long should they isolate for, there are no rules on isolating if you have been in close contact,

"... your isolation period includes the date of your last contact with the person who has a positive LFD or PCR test result for COVID-19, and the next 10 full days."

Verite1 · 19/12/2023 20:29

Where on earth is that from? It’s not guidance in force.

I would test on Friday or Saturday. If you are not positive by then it is much less likely that you are going to develop it. It’s not a given that you will catch it. I have been in very close contact with people I know had Covid (including family members) and never caught it from them (though caught it from a fleeting encounter at a party).

You could also tell them as well if you feel you should.

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:30

@NAndJSaysVoteConservative not sure what country you are in but in england that guidance has long gone
teachers etc glare told to go in with covid if feeling well and in many other places let alone isolating for 10 days everytime you are a close contact

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 20:31

@NAndJSaysVoteConservative and PCR are not available for the vast majority either

Mum2jenny · 19/12/2023 20:32

Very difficult OP, both my dh and ds tested positive for Covid. Not me though. Not had it recently although I’ve had v close contact with both of them.

dementedpixie · 19/12/2023 20:37

I would warn them and test prior to them coming. @NAndJSaysVoteConservative there is no requirement to isolate after contact with covid. The isolation guidelines you have quoted are from something like 2020/21.

I had covid last week and if I went to the shops I wore a mask and also when in the car with ds. I didn't go to my exercise classes and went walking instead. Dh and dd have had no symptoms and ds had different symptoms from me but a negative test.

NAndJSaysVoteConservative · 19/12/2023 20:39

@healthadvice123 @dementedpixie Just because the guidelines are no longer official doesn't mean that they should be ignored.

dementedpixie · 19/12/2023 20:42

Of course I'm going to ignore them if they are as restrictive as that. There are no extra sick pay allowances for absence for covid so you're not going to stay off with no illness and a much lower pay. There's no guarantee you will catch it anyway.

endlessdarkness · 19/12/2023 20:44

Of course you should tell them and let them make the right decision for them. Why wouldn't you let them make their own choice? The only reason not to tell them is if you don't want them to choose to stay home for your own enjoyment, and that's just selfish.

dragonpen · 19/12/2023 20:50

I would start making alternative plans, even just on paper, for what to do if you're ill. I'd warn them that you might be ill and unable to host Christmas or visitors, and explain why. I might also consider just calling it off full stop. I say that because I wouldn't like visotirs to feel pressured to say they don't care and come anyway to be polite, even if they don't actually think it's a good idea. You deciding it's a bad idea makes that a bit easier in some ways - just reschedule for another weekend?

dragonpen · 19/12/2023 20:54

Not that rescheduling is that easy when it's Christmas, I know!

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