Parents being Brainwashed re: Covid 19

[superblondie28]

I'm happy to do my bit to stop covid spreading, I wear a mask, triple vaxxed, wash hands etc. I am really getting fed up with all the scaremongering on the news/internet regarding Covid 19.

It has literally turned my quite confident pensioner mother who has no real health problems into a paranoid, fearful person.

Everyday she's texting me that's she read this, read that about Covid 19. Some of it may be true like and some not. My hubby is reluctant to get the booster although he had the other 2 jabs. I'm not saying he'll never get it but she's under the impression that if you're triple vaxxed, you can't pass covid on or catch it which is total bollocks !!
But to get or not get the booster is purely HIS decision. He doesn't work with elderly people or work for the NHS.

The latest thing is, my mum has cancelled the christmas eve meal , which she and her hubby were going to. Its his birthday meal. Just the 2 of them, probably holed up in a quiet corner as its a daytime meal. This is down to scaremongering by the media.

I am started to get worried for her mental health. Stepdad doesn't bother with the internet. Doesn't even own a smartphone so he's a bit more less paranoid.

Any advice anyone please. Are your parents the same ? Thanks

I have to say OP her worries seem quite proportional to me. You are much less protected against the new variant if you haven't had a booster, that's a fact. And lots of people are cancelling indoor socialising in big venues. We will likely be in another lockdown very soon in any case.

Is it scaremongering? She might just be genuinely scared. Lots of older people are.

I’m triple faced, but unfortunately l struggle with anxiety. So I’m reluctant to go out as much as normal as I’m sort of scared the vaccine won’t work or whatever.

My ds lives at home, he’s had 3 jabs. I’m not worried about being near him though.

There is a difference between 'scaremongering' and 'I am scared'. It is a distinction that many on here do not seem to understand.

Just because someone is scared does not mean that anyone set out to deliberately scare them.

What scaremongering is the media doing?

I agree it's a bit unkind to call her paranoid or what have you. Plenty of people cancelling unnecessary socialising and dining out. Covid IS more dangerous for older people, that's not scaremongering.

Why is your OH scared to get the booster? It sounds like he’s the one that’s been reading crap, not your parents. The vaccination gives a reasonable (not 100%) protection against covid. Eg www.publichealthscotland.scot/news/2021/march/covid-19-vaccine-linked-to-a-reduction-in-transmission/
Less so with omicron, but it still does lower your risk of infection and therefore transmission.

As the vaccines were being developed they said the main aim was to reduce serious illness or death and some people misinterpreted that as ‘it doesn’t stop you getting it’. Is that where you’re getting confused?

She and my stepdad have both had boosters. All I can say, until recently, she and stepdad were happy to have the Wednesday Curry special at Hungry Horse and not bothered at all. Until Omnicron or whatever its called was constantly being mentioned by the media.

I wouldn't say that their pub of choice is a big venue either. I've been there so I know this.

I don't believe we'll lockdown unless the furlough scheme is re-introduced. Obviously she is a pensioner so not affected by a weekly/monthly salary.

I strongly believe that we can't keep hiding from the virus by lockdown. It doesn't work. It didn't work last year or this year.

Sounds like she’s being pretty sensible to me given the higher risk of her catching the virus at the moment? My elderly relatives are doing the same. I wouldn’t be dining in restaurants at the moment either. Tbh.

Have you shown her the figures?

My parents, pensioners, have friends in that age bracket who are the same. It's really bad in their case - they didn't go out in summer either.

I am sorry but other than offering facts there's not a lot you can do.

I know where you’re coming from , honestly, my parents, in particular my mum are the same.
In face worse, my mum hasn’t been in a shop since March 2020. It’s really sad to see. They don’t meet friends anymore. Yes she’s 62, but she doesn’t have any underlying health issues. She’s had her jabs. We live 4 hours apart so don’t see them often. They’re reluctant to travel and see us so they’re missing out on a lot of time with my son (their grandson). It’s very sad.
My mum is always watching the news and media and I do worry it’s causing a brain washing type effect.

I strongly believe that we can't keep hiding from the virus by lockdown. It doesn't work. It didn't work last year or this year

But your mum clearly thinks differently and you appear to be forcing your values onto her.

@SheWoreYellow

Why is your OH scared to get the booster? It sounds like he’s the one that’s been reading crap, not your parents. The vaccination gives a reasonable (not 100%) protection against covid. Eg www.publichealthscotland.scot/news/2021/march/covid-19-vaccine-linked-to-a-reduction-in-transmission/ Less so with omicron, but it still does lower your risk of infection and therefore transmission.

As the vaccines were being developed they said the main aim was to reduce serious illness or death and some people misinterpreted that as ‘it doesn’t stop you getting it’. Is that where you’re getting confused?

He's one of these people who had the original 2 jabs to do his bit to get the country back to normal. It hasn't gone back to normal. Infact its gotten worse. He was never happy about putting something developed so quickly into his body in the first place. He doesn't take painkillers even and they've been around for years. He doesn't bother listening to the factual news even. But has had a number of videos sent to him by anti vaxxers earlier this year including a few from his weird friend.

I've never been confused about what the vaccine can or can't do. I've always known it was mostly likely to dumb down symptoms of covid 19 so you recover quickly. My mother seems to think you can't get covid 19 at all if you've had the booster. I just don't want her getting obsessed with everything.

Some people seem to be more susceptible than others to “the fear” as promoted by news channels/programmes.

I think it is ridiculous to be so afraid that you have stripped back everything in your life worth living for! Yes, that is a rather dramatic way of putting it, but I know lots of people who are not far off. They have barricaded themselves off from the world and live in misery and terror. You can’t tell me that’s healthy!

She sounds sensible to me. Your mum realises that it doesn't offer 100% protection and is taking precautions not to catch it. That's not paranoia in my opinion.

I've drastically reduced my social contacts (and will test on Christmas morning) with a view to keeping my elderly parents safe.

I think it’s a choice - carry on with life and maybe get Covid, or withdraw and maybe get Covid too.
Maybe the most constructive thing would be to suggest to your Mum that she tries a two week media break. Reassure her that you will tell her of anything significant. Then afterwards she could see if her anxiety is lower.
There is really no evidence that Omnicron (despite its slightly ominous name) is any more dangerous.

Some people have decided they’d rather forgo a meal in a pub than risk ending up in hospital. The risk is so much higher if you are old and we don’t yet have the full data on how effective boosters are against omicron for various ages. Can’t say i blame them. Some people are not that bothered by socialising/ eating out etc that they feel their life is that negatively impacted.

There is a difference between 'scaremongering' and 'I am scared'. It is a distinction that many on here do not seem to understand.

This.

Sometimes a fear is very valid. It would be reasonable to apply this to your parents, given they're elderly and therefore at higher risk from Covid.

Other times the fear is more the result of being influenced by scaremongering. Which is the case with your DP and his fear of the booster.

I think we have to accept that people have different levels of fear.

Some people would rather carry on living in defiance of Covid and some would rather be more cautious. It seems to be on a sliding scale of age.

My best friend is like this..she doesn't fully understand it tbh ( or hasn't taken the time to research it properly). So she takes the most doom mongering headline in the daily mail at any given time and just runs with it
It's very frustrating and I'm finding I just avoid the subject as we have very different views
Covid has been the great divider

@DaisyNGO

Have you shown her the figures?

My parents, pensioners, have friends in that age bracket who are the same. It's really bad in their case - they didn't go out in summer either.

I am sorry but other than offering facts there's not a lot you can do.

She had the covid 19 virus already. Caught in hospital last October. Picked up on a PCR test. Had no symptoms. No idea how she caught it as was in a private room. She had a DVT in her leg and private room meant loo was nearer !

Depending where she lives, she might have made a well judged risk assessment and decided that while curry at the Hungry Horse was fine a couple of weeks ago, covid rates are going through the roof, so it might make sense to skip the meals out until things calm down.

There are signs Gauteng, where omicron was first detected, is already past the peak, London might be peaking as well, hopefully in a few weeks she will feel better about socialising.

On saying this, I've read your post back and it doesn't quite make sense, if she's convinced you can't catch covid if you're triple vaxxed, what's the concern?

If she's watching the news, she's probably seen the world's medical and scientific experts note the potential for the Omicron variant to reinfect.

Your mother sounds sensible. However, your dh sounds like the one being brain washed.

From what you've said, your mother sounds more rational than your partner to be honest.

He doesn't bother listening to the factual news even

One of my favourite quotes ever. And you think your mother is reacting disproportionately.

You and your husband are showing very limited intelligence if that helps.

As for "hiding from the virus"....well its not hiding is it - its trying to take the most proportionate and effective response to a global public health emergency.

The "learning to live with Covid" line that so many idiots come up with fail to grasp (on the basis of the current state of the virus) would mean that the entire health system would collapse as indeed would a large number of essential services.

Covid may indeed be mild for most - but if a huge proportion of the population get it then the small number for whom it is not mild is actually quite a lot of people (mostly older and clinically vulnerable).

So I would say you and your husbands are basing your lack of fear on the fact that you don't understand that you actually are at risk (if essential services break down) and also that you are failing to acknowledge how selfish you both are.

But I think the chances of you and your husband understanding this are low. And that is why this will go on or longer than it needs to.