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Covid

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Original poster

Positive lft awaiting pcr but separated parents

26 replies

Terminallysleepdeprived · 18/12/2021 19:13

I can't seem to find any definitive answers online so hoping someone here might know or point me in the right direction..

Dd's dad and I have been separated for 3.5 years. Good coparenting relationship etc.

Dd and I have tested positive today on lft. Been for pcr test and awaiting result. But can she still go for contact with her Dad? I know the info in lockdown 1 was yes but have no idea of still the case.

For background neither of us have any of the publicised symptoms but dd has complained of a headache since last Saturday and is bouncing around today for first time in a week. Having read up on the new variant and people's experiences I now know that this is a symptom. So technically her isolation period should be up on Monday night.

We only know because indo routine tests on a Tuesday and Saturday. Tuesday I was negative and today it has shown positive. I tested dd, dp and made my parents abd dd's dad all test. Dd and I are the only ones who were positive. I work I'm a satellite office and have been on my own all week, the only person 8 have been near til dp came over last night is my dd. It has clearly come from her school (primary).

I am triple jabbed and had absolutely no idea that headaches were a symptom. I have had a headache on and off since tuesday but the neighbouring office use spray paint constantly and ever since they moved in I have had a headache every time I have been into our office so it wasn't unusual iyswim.

OP posts:

SoSickOfItNow · 18/12/2021 20:33

That person self-isolating must not leave the above specified places, except where necessary. The regulation does NOT list visiting a parent whom a child does not usually live with as a reason why a person self-isolating may leave the house.
childlawadvice.org.uk/coronavirus-separated-families-and-contact/

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 07:48

Thanks. The issue I have is the government legislation hasn't been updated updated it currently states that a self isolating child can travel to either home hence my confusion.

I don't think her dad will have an issue today with her remaining with me but if the isolation rules alter and she has to isolate from the date of the positive test then he will miss having her Christmas night & boxing day and that may cause a bug issue

OP posts:

Bubblty · 19/12/2021 08:30

He wants her there even if she has covid?

Wingingit15 · 19/12/2021 08:32

(As a separated parent myself also) I’d say it’s something for you and he to discuss rationally. Pretty sure passing between households is exempt but unlikely to have the police knocking anyway

WoodenReindeer · 19/12/2021 08:35

See what he says? Surely if he wants her with covid that's fine. Isn't it his call? I wouldn't expect him too but who knows at christmas.

Wasnt the previous advice around self isolating when everyone was isolating for every contact?

I think if you insist on her staying it coild look like its just because you want her for xmas so its worth having an open conversation.

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 08:35

@Wingingit15

(As a separated parent myself also) I’d say it’s something for you and he to discuss rationally. Pretty sure passing between households is exempt but unlikely to have the police knocking anyway

This is what I am trying to find out. It is about as clear as mud

OP posts:

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 08:40

@WoodenReindeer

See what he says? Surely if he wants her with covid that's fine. Isn't it his call? I wouldn't expect him too but who knows at christmas.

Wasnt the previous advice around self isolating when everyone was isolating for every contact?

I think if you insist on her staying it coild look like its just because you want her for xmas so its worth having an open conversation.

In lock down 1 she could move between houses even if positive (we never had it then)

This time all advice excepted for separated parents has been updated. It is "my turn" for Xmas eve and Xmas day. He should have her Xmas night into boxing day. It is the only time she stays at his house so am torn.

Currently he hasn't mentioned it. He is negative as is my dp (doesn't live with me) and my parents. It has definitely come from dd and school and as he had her after school during the week the chances are he will test positive in the next few days

OP posts:

Frazzled2207 · 19/12/2021 08:40

I think you can pass children between households legally but obvs not ideal.

You def won’t have police knocking on your door so don’t worry about that.
I think best dc stays with you for now but by the time Christmas comes if LFT clear then chances are not infectious anymore so I’d let them go with the original plan assuming the dad willing.

Infectiousness drops significantly after 5-6 days.

Frazzled2207 · 19/12/2021 08:41

If he tests positive himself then he will probably be willing to have her once he’s over the worst?

Myotherusernameisshy · 19/12/2021 09:00

There is a limit to how far back you can use as the start date of symptoms after your positive PCR. Even if your dd has had a headache since last weekend she won't be allowed out on Monday unfortunately. It will be at least 5 full days of isolation after her positive PCR.

User2638483 · 19/12/2021 09:07

Forget about the official rules just talk to your ex.
I would have thought there’s a high chance he’d say it’s best if she stays with you then comes to him when she’s better so that him and potentially his family don’t get it. Unless it would’ve just been him and her for xmas then he would probably have to change his plans.

User2638483 · 19/12/2021 09:08

If he’s positive too and doesn’t feel too bad then perhaps he will be happy for her to go.
Not sure why you’re asking on here just ask him!

gogohm · 19/12/2021 09:11

Pretty sure he can have her but he needs to fetch her from you. It's his call though - tell him the situation and if he wants her to come that's fine but she still has to isolate at his house if within 10 days of her positive test

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 09:19

@User2638483

If he’s positive too and doesn’t feel too bad then perhaps he will be happy for her to go. Not sure why you’re asking on here just ask him!

Perfectly capable of asking him. I was asking if anyone was aware of the current rules as nothing has been updated from lockdown 1

OP posts:

Mindymomo · 19/12/2021 09:50

There was a post recently where the child was positive and DM wasn’t and had to go to work, otherwise she wouldn’t be paid. She asked 119 if child could go to DF and was told no, the child must isolate at home and not move houses. Personally, like others have said, we all have to do what’s best for our own circumstances, if she’s negative on LlFT come Christmas Day and DF is happy to have her knowing she could still be infectious. Otherwise could he come to yours for Christmas Day.

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 10:03

See that is where the info is so confusing. The law says she can, anecdotal comments say not, I am of the opinion that she stays put. So far her dad is being fab. He's offered to do my shopping etc.

Some friends have said they got phone calls to dicuss isolation dates etc. So hopefully I can ask when that call happens.

OP posts:

OnGoldenPond · 19/12/2021 10:05

OP, I think the previous rule allowing a child to move between the homes of separated parents related to the lockdown restrictions and was an exception from the general rule in force at the time banning mixing with other households.

It has always been the rule that people of any age who test positive must stay in their current household until the end of their quarantine period and in this case can't go to the other parent's home until then.

OverTheRubicon · 19/12/2021 10:10

Law says it is possible because her dad's house IS her home. Logic says better to wait if possible, to avoid him/others getting sick too, and as you're not too ill to care for her properly.

We had this discussion and decided that in this situation the children would remain in one place, to minimise spread and so that at least the other parent could see family etc. However I think if you've got a good co-parenting relationship, you should ignore what busybodies posters say on here and judge what is the right outcome for your family, based on your needs as well as being socially responsible.

OnGoldenPond · 19/12/2021 11:46

Ah ok I see. Though would probably be sensible to keep DC where they are if possible to avoid her Dad catching it.

OnGoldenPond · 19/12/2021 11:48

I hope the busybodies comment wasn't for me I was only trying to help.

WoodenReindeer · 19/12/2021 11:50

You need to weigh up with dad wanting time with his child over christmas though. This isnt a "should I go out shopping when positive" question but about a child spending time at home with her dad over xmas.

JanglyBeads · 19/12/2021 12:07

If she’s been ill a week already and tested positive yesterday then the “at least five days following test day rule” would mean she’s out of isolation midnight Thursday, so could still go to his on Christmas Day onwards.

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 14:02

@JanglyBeads

This was the other issue. Nhs covid app says from test so end of 28th. However I have now had the track and trace email and spoken to 119 who have confirmed your advice above.

Thanks folks. At least I now know the correct isolation dates.

Dd's dad is more worried that he hasn't helped dd get me a gift so has added extra to my maintenance for this month and told me to order something I want and it will be from dd.

He can be a royal arse at times but this week he is being really supportive

OP posts:

OverTheRubicon · 19/12/2021 15:07

@OnGoldenPond

I hope the busybodies comment wasn't for me I was only trying to help.

Wasn't aimed at you, more at the people like the one above who mentioned 'visiting a parent they don't usually live with' - which isn't the case if there's shared care. I'm probably also over-sensitive because this entire pandemic has been monumentally hard for so many single parents with primary residence (almost always mothers), and on almost every post about isolation there are people coming on to tell the mother that she just must keep the child there, no matter what the actual legal rules or situation, and without understanding that it's not just the one off isolation for us, it's been 18 months of relentless on / offs, home schooling, lack of clubs or grandparent childcare, isolations waiting for PCR tests, isolations due to close contact, isolations due to actual covid (which somehow never seems to get to the whole family at once), reduced social connection.. most of us are hanging onto our jobs and our sanity by our fingernails at this point, and sometimes the overwhelmingly partnered, WFH and (fairly) comfortably off MNers don't seem to understand.

Original poster

Terminallysleepdeprived · 19/12/2021 15:31

Dd's dad and I have 50/50 care of sorts. She doesn't sleep at his house but we rotate 3 days on 3 days off due to his shift pattern.

He has his issues and there's a lot of reasons why she doesn't sleep over. Some are to do with my own anxiety over her being away from me...she has complex health issues and is on a form of chemo as a result. And some because he's a good dad but a crap adult.

Both house are very much her homes. If I needed him to have her ie so i can work from home this week he would do it in a heartbeat. He has already said if Christmas was gonna be screwed up then he would give up his turn next year so we can re plan events for this year.

I just wanted to know where things stood legally if he had decided to be pissy.

OP posts:

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